You All Grow Up and Leave Me by Piper Weiss

You All Grow Up and Leave Me

A highly unsettling blend of true crime and coming-of-age memoir— The Stranger Beside Me meets Prep—that presents an intimate and thought-provoking portrait of girlhood within Manhattan’s exclusive prep-school scene in the early 1990s, and a thoughtful meditation on adolescent obsession and the vulnerability of youth.Piper Weiss was fourteen years old when her middle-aged tennis coach, Gary Wilensky, one of New York City’s most prestigiou...

Details You All Grow Up and Leave Me

TitleYou All Grow Up and Leave Me
Release DateApr 10th, 2018
PublisherWilliam Morrow
GenreNonfiction, Autobiography, Memoir, Crime, True Crime, Biography, Mystery

Reviews You All Grow Up and Leave Me

  • abby
    There are three things about Piper Weiss that stand out above all else in reading her memoir-slash-true-crime book. First, that she came of age in early 90s New York. Second, that she wasn't Gary Wilensky's ultimate victim. And, third, that she's spent years obsessing over why not. In many ways, this book IS Piper Weiss. You're going to like her or hate her and her book accordingly.The true crime part of the book, which is dwarfed by the memoir p...
  • Kelly (and the Book Boar)
    Find all of my reviews at: All Grow Up And Leave Me popped up on the library’s Recommended To You feature due to me reading I’ll Be Gone In The Dark – a book I didn’t much care for at all, if the truth be told . . . . Save your breath. I get it. I read it wrong and McNamara was not only a genius, but also this close to DNA swabbing the perp herself and solving the whole shebang. Whatever. I didn’t ...
  • Ann Marie (Lit·Wit·Wine·Dine)
    You can read this and all of my reviews at Lit·Wit·Wine·Dine.Welcome to my stop on the blog tour for You All Grow Up and Leave Me. I was immediately drawn in by the blurb and cover. The true crime buff in me couldn’t resist this book about a young women’s experience with Gary Wilensky, a child predator who preyed on the young of Manhattan’s elite families in the 1990’s.I have to be honest. This book is a tough one for me to review. The...
  • Ellen Gail
    For me, the life and death of Gary Wilensky took place over one year, the same period my own mind became the most dangerous it has ever been. At some point both our stories nearly overlapped, though not entirely and certainly not neatly. 2.5 stars. This strange true crime memoir is going to polarize a lot of people I think.Tennis was very on trend in the 90s. It was the chic thing to do, particularly if you were a well off Upper East-Sider. And i...
  • Eve
    "Stalking is how some men raise the stakes when women don't play along. It is a crime of power, control, and intimidation, very similar to date rape." —Gavin de Becker, The Gift of FearThis was a really interesting book, and one that got me through my long flight(s) back home from Ireland. I'm honestly not sure how to rate it; I keep oscillating between 3 and 4 stars because it wasn't what I expected it to be, but it was actually quite good. It...
  • Valerity (Val)
    This was a strange memoir about a 14-year-old who is taking tennis lessons from a man who is popular but troubled. She becomes close to him during a quiet moment when he confesses to her that he’s depressed and she shares that she is too. She tries to comfort him by saying she loves him and won’t grow up and leave him like the rest of his tennis students.She has no way of knowing of his obsession with another student of his, and how he’ll b...
  • Scott S.
    When finishing You All Grow Up and Leave Me, I was reminded of a twenty-five year-old review by the late, great critic Roger Ebert for the somewhat-forgotten movie Backbeat.Ebert took issue with the film - about bassist Stu Sutcliffe, who he described as "a painter who was almost a Beatle" - because it "could make a good movie, but only if the story pulled its own weight, and didn't hitch a ride on the Beatles legend." He further referenced an ol...
  • Sarah
    I really liked this. Don't go on expecting a detailed true crime story, though you do hear some details of that towards the end. It's really a teenage coming of age memoir, seen through the lens of the year the author spent being coached by a man who ended up trying to abduct another student and then killing himself. While I can't identify with Piper Weiss's rich, prep school, New York City childhood, I still found this incredibly relatable, betw...
  • Tess Taylor
    1- You All Grow Up and Leave Me is not a true crime novel. About 90% of the book is Piper Weiss’s meandering memories about growing up rich in 1990’s Manhattan. It’s hard to follow because there is no timeline to speak of. This "memoir" is just a collection random moments of her life and feelings she felt and penises she saw. Most of the book has absolutely nothing to with Gary Wilensky, the tennis instructor who attacked and attempted to k...
  • Meg - A Bookish Affair
    3.5 stars. "You All Grow Up and Leave Me" is the true crime story of Gary, a seemingly harmless man that weasels his way into the lives of many of Manhattan's elite families through tennis. He teaches female students how to be successful tennis players and his services are in high demand. He is hiding a very dark side and abuses multiple young girls in a monstrously systematic way and the way it ends for seems like something out of a horror movie...
  • Lauren
    This has a great tone--slightly off-kilter, slightly overheated, all-too-subjective--that means it merits that Megan Abbott blurb. In fact, it does feel like the origin of a Megan Abbott novel, but that's the problem. This has the bare bones of a story, but it needs someone to put flesh on it, and Weiss can't quite... in part because a recurring point of her story is that it's not her story and as such has to be a little bit slight. I respect the...
  • Stacy Fetters
    "The onus is on us to change, be better, be less like who we are. We're at fault for caving to our impulses and encouraged to steer ourselves toward more calculated decisions. Once we called this pursuit purity; now we call it evolving."Thank you, Goodreads for an advanced copy of this book. Opinion is my own!I will start this off by saying that judging someones life in book form is never easy. This is someones life in your hands. They felt comfo...
  • Deb
    I love memoirs and I find true crime fascinating so I immediately wanted to read this book and be on the TLC Book Tour even though I only had a vague recollection of the Gary Wilensky case. I was in my late twenties, across the country, and focused on other things when in 1993, Wilensky attempted to kidnap a seventeen-year-old former tennis student and when he failed, killed himself. I had little in common with New York's Upper East Side teens an...
  • Jessica
    Thanks to William Morrow and TLC Book Tours for the copy! Check out my blog for more about the author.This book is first and foremost a memoir. There is then a blending with true crime to make for an intriguing story. YOU ALL GROW UP AND LEAVE ME by Piper Weiss is about Gary Wilensky and the crimes he committed from the perspective of one of his former students.I had never heard of Gary Wilensky and the horrible things he had done to some of his ...
  • Barbara
    Although this book tackles the obsession of tennis coach Gary Wilensky for the teen girls he coached, it also deals with the author's feelings about him and about his crime. Wilensky coached several girls who attended exclusive schools in New York City, often charming his charges with his playfulness and how he let them get away with breaking little rules set by parents or society. The girls loved him because he was funny and gave them treats eve...
  • Kevin M
    I heard about this book as a sort of blending of memoir and true-crime. Let me dissuade anyone who thinks the same: this is not a true-crime book. In 15 minutes of google-ing Gary Wylenski, you can know more about the case than is presented here.What it is actually about could have been interesting: growing up in a private Manhattan prep-school among New York's rich and famous, all while dealing with the growing pains that accompany being a teena...
  • Shaun
    I received a copy of this book for free through a Goodreads First Reads Giveaway."You All Grow Up and Leave Me" is part memoir, part true crime. It's an interesting look into the world of New York private school and private coaching from the perspective of one of those students. The writing style took a bit to get used to. Each chapter was like a snippet from a news article and/or diary. As the reader gets further into the book, it's easier to re...
  • Jessica
    Memoirs, by design, are self-centered. They are the memoirist's version of the truth. You All Grow Up and Leave Me is a difficult read. This is not because of its coverage of a child predator but because of the author’s tone. There is no doubt that Weiss is aware of her privilege and she is certainly entitled to tell her truth. Yet still, linking her coming of age to hebephile Gary Wilensky feels inappropriate and selfish. Weiss explains her at...
  • Dorothy
    True crime written by an 'almost victim'. Author had close relationship with a man who turned out to be a sadistic pedophile, who killed himself just as the truth about his nature was being revealed. Weiss has spent the last 20 some years reflecting on what impact the man's duplicitous nature had on her, both when he coached her during her early teen years, and after his death. Wrenchingly honest and eye-opening.
  • Maggie
    This book was incredibly well-written, unique, and poignant. The coming-of-age story was painfully real, the true crime eerie and woven in with just enough horror. Several passages struck me as particularly powerful--I might have to go back and find all of the best moments and underline/dog-ear them just to come back and re-read them a few more times. Overall, awesome. One of the most interesting books I've read in a while.
  • BookGypsy
    Everyone should read this! In 1993 Tennis Instructor Gary Wilensky attempted to kidnap a young student he became obsessed with. During the police chase he killed himself. They found an isolated cabin in the woods where he planned to take her. Piper Weiss was his student at a Manhattan New York prep school. The novel,a memoir of a young girl coming of age in the 90's. A confused teenager who cuts herself to release the pain. An honest retelling th...
  • Stephanie Mills
    WOW! This is a great book! I love a great book that can get the emotions/ feelings going and this is one! Many tears and opened eyes.
  • Kirsten
    This is a fascinating mix of true crime and memoir. It’s essential reading for those who want to understand the way predatory coaches operate, and why their charges in some cases defend them even after their actions are revealed.
  • Jessica
    When 2018 is almost over and everyone is making their “Best of” lists, I am 98% sure this will be my favorite book to come out this year. Holy cow.
  • Samantha Osborne
    i liked it a lot it was a interesting read i received this for a honest review
  • Jamie Canaves
    Coming of Age Memoir + True Crime Memoir/true crime has become a favorite read for me. When done well it really allows for an exploration of the impact of crimes with an emotional component that usually focuses more on the victims. In this case, this is very much a memoir about a woman coming to terms with her teen years when she was a student of a fun, larger-than life tennis instructor who turned out to be a predator. If you don’t actually kn...
  • Lindsay Hunter
    This put into words so much I have never been able to about being a teenage girl. So good.
  • Lauren
    I wasn't sure what to expect going into this book, but I was pleasantly surprised how well written and engrossing it was. The only complaint I have is that I didn't really like the back-and-forth between the 1990s and present day. I found myself skimming through the more recent sections and looking forward to the next 1990s section.