And Now We Have Everything by Meaghan O'Connell

And Now We Have Everything

Operating Instructions for the Millennial set: a fiercely honest account of becoming a mother before feeling like a grown up.Meaghan O'Connell always felt totally alienated by the cutesy, sanctimonious, sentimental tone of most writing about motherhood. After getting accidentally pregnant in her twenties, she realized that the book she needed--a brutally honest, agenda-less take on the emotional and existential impact of motherhood--didn't exist...

Details And Now We Have Everything

TitleAnd Now We Have Everything
Release DateApr 10th, 2018
PublisherLittle, Brown and Company
GenreNonfiction, Autobiography, Memoir, Parenting, Feminism, Biography

Reviews And Now We Have Everything

  • Emily May
    A woman had an electric razor out and was shaving my pubic hair. I debated asking her if she accepted tips and decided against it. This was such an enjoyable reading experience. I laughed, I remembered, I nodded along with some of the author's experiences and cringed at others. I suppose this is like the evil (and totally honest) twin to What to Expect When You're Expecting.O'Connell doesn't waste time with the bullshit. I have no idea if this bo...
  • Adrienne
    I related to this book very deeply, which is maybe odd, because I don't actually have children. But I'm trying to decide if I want to, and reading this memoir allowed me to feel like I was sitting inside a close friend's mind while she experienced everything for me. (Convenient! Except the body horror.)The writing is inviting, especially for a child of the internet like me: at turns bitingly sarcastic, deeply self-reflective, and breathtakingly v...
  • Bailey
    I didn't expect to read this in one day but I couldn't put it down. Harrowing in a variety of ways from beginning to end, it made me think of all the conversations I've had with friends in the last few years, about living in Brooklyn and coming up on 30 and looking at the future.Overall I thought it was gripping and devastating and also very funny where I didn't expect it. It scared me and horrified me, but it also made me feel better about every...
  • Amy
    Every once in a while there is some genuine insight here, but this was for the most part kind of shallow and annoying. I wanted something that explores the complexity of motherhood, like how you love your kids, you would die for your kids, but if you had it to do over again you might not have them? But this was more, my baby’s really cute but I feel so fat. I just didn’t like the writing and I felt like the author sounded so high maintenance....
  • Emily
    I passed out on the subway while reading this book. There were probably a lot of other factors involved, but I don't think that Meaghan O'Connell's description of an epidural helped.
  • Racheal
    As someone who doesn't plan to have kids, I did not expect to be so engrossed by this or to identify with it so thoroughly. It just hit a pitch-perfect tone for me; there's no navel-gazey, hippy mom bullshit in sight, just a particular mix of insecurity and mild cynicism that characterizes life for a lot of late 20-to-early-30-something women as the pressure builds to figure out your life and what you want re: career, marriage, kids.God, did I r...
  • Annie Hartnett
    Compulsively readable, honest, & raw. Finished in one sitting and am glad to have read it.
  • Cynthia Shannon
    I'm the kind of person who likes to prepare for the worst-case scenario. If I know what the worst possible outcome might be then I can mentally prepare myself for that and be positively surprised if it's not as bad as I thought it would be. This book does exactly that and it's finally a book that doesn't gloss over the awful parts of early motherhood and giving birth (I was holding my breath through the whole birthing chapter. Everything that can...
  • Rachel
    Reading this book was like reading the diary of my high school friend who never grew up. It was complete navel gazing - there was no greater meaning, no truth, no deeper understanding, and most of the beginning felt incredibly false. Like she took these fleeting tiny thoughts she might have had and made them seem huge and intrusive so she could fill pages. And so it doesn’t seem like maybe I just can’t relate: I got pregnant with my fiancé b...
  • Rachel León
    Ever since I became a mama--before I too was ready--I've been a sucker for books on motherhood. I'll take anything that oozes honesty and candor, so this book didn't disappoint--O'Connell keeps it real. Some might find this book a bit banal or self indulgent, but I'd venture to say other mamas will nod their heads in recognition, taking comfort in that feeling of being understood.
  • Samantha
    I’m twenty-eight, and I don’t have a kid — don’t know if I’ll ever have, or want, or desire, or dream of, or yearn for, or _mother_ a kid — and I was deeply touched by this raw, thoughtful book. It touched on everything I fear about motherhood: identity and the loss of self, pain — emotional, physical — and love, and left me feeling heard, somehow, like these questions belong to everyone out there, trying to face the idea of mothe...
  • Samantha Fraenkel
    This is the book on motherhood that I've been waiting for. I can't count the number of times, while reading, I thought "Wow, I thought I was the only one that thought that / felt that way". Refreshingly candid about pregnancy, birth, and the early days of motherhood, And Now We Have Everything spoke deeply to me. There were parts where I was laughing so hard that tears streamed down my face, times when I was gently weeping as I remembered, and mo...
  • Susan
    There's obviously a lot I could relate to in this, being a person who has had a child, and there are certain things the author said that were just so true for me and it felt good to have that solidarity and acknowledgement from someone (I made a lot of highlights on my kindle). And, also obviously, my experience was different in many ways (like the expectations for labor - I was more of a "let's just see what happens!" kind of person), so I reall...
  • Erin
    4.5 starsIt was a little slow start for me since my pregnancy wasn’t unplanned but I devoured it after starting the birth plan chapter. There were legit tears at feeling completely understood and not so alone. Highly recommend.
  • Daniel Dao
    I don’t know what else to say other than this book made me happy.
  • Janet
    Kind of like a long form, well-written mommyblog. I think it would be a good read for someone who hasn’t experienced pregnancy, birth, and the first year of parenting if they want a real account of how those things can go. Or maybe someone who has gone through them and things were a little rough and they’d like some solitary and validation. I’m skeptical of the title—she seemed ready enough to me—and I think I was expecting a slightly d...
  • Sarah Krammen
    Oh, that was everything. That was three years of my life wrapped up in 150 pages of words more beautiful and pointed and honest and vulnerable than I could find. I'm going to go wipe peanut butter off my son's face now, and focus on the joy.
  • Laura
    I think I’m too old for this book. I related to a few observations and I think she’s a good writer but I was on a treadmill that had me back at work at 14, 12 and 10 weeks postpartum respectively after the births of my kids and not a lot of time for thinking about who I was or what motherhood meant. I was busy running to catch the train with a breast pump that weighed 20 lbs and looked like a reel to reel tape deck. That being said I also des...
  • Susie | Novel Visits
    My Thoughts: Interestingly, Meaghan O’Connell’s book is subtitled “On Motherhood Before I Was Ready.” Why so interesting you might ask. Well, it’s actually for a couple reasons, one that has to do with all women and one more for O’Connell.As a woman with now adult children, I can say for all of us that NO ONE is ever really ready for motherhood. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the more ready a woman thinks she is, probably t...
  • Colleen
    Looking forward to the day when a memoir that grapples honestly with the universal ordinariness of motherhood doesn’t feel like a fucking revelation. Until then, we have this wonderful book that so carefully observes the finest details of those early days of creating and sustaining a human life. I hope this book’s visibility helps to raise the tide so that other women, including those who are not white writers from NYC, have a larger platform...
  • Kelley
    Okay, maybe 4.5 or 5 stars for me. This book is probably not for everyone, but so many things rang so true for me. And I’m tempted to write a review rehashing my pregnancy, the birth of my girls, and the first 6 months or so after they were born. Because this book brought all the feelings to the forefront.
  • Caroline
    Online, our friends are famous to other friends: one girlfriend’s caption wit crowned her my “funniest” friend, so much that when she became engaged, strangers cheered her. O’Connell has that appeal, frankness you know second or third-hand but follow assiduously.This book is strongest in its first person, when O’Connell doesn’t speak for third-wave, dot-com kin, but for herself. Pregnancy, she says, confers a disorienting authority. A...
  • Jaclyn
    This is a raw and unapologetic memoir about the author’s experience becoming a mother. It was a refreshingly honest account that did not shy away from the pain, inconveniences and overwhelming experiences that are part and parcel of the journey.The memoir starts in New York when the author was a late-20s hopeful writer, and within pages we are swept up in finding out that she is unexpectedly pregnant. I really enjoyed the honesty and humanity t...
  • Lgordo
    Around 2 years ago, I had a simple, uncomplicated natural birth following a simple, uncomplicated pregnancy. It took 10 months before I stopped getting flashbacks and shaking every time something reminded me of childbirth. After almost two years, I still have not physically recovered fully, and will likely have to accept a permanent state of reduced health and ability. And I got off easy compared to many. There is no other routine lifecycle event...
  • Christine
    There are certain periods in life I would not want to travel back to and one of them is early motherhood. It's amazing the difference between the perceived version (the loving mother tenderly gazing at her newborn child, the child cooing back) and the everyday, well, monotony - desperation for time alone, hating breastfeeding, feeling like a lump and no longer recognizing your own body, the crying (the baby, yourself), the constant attachment. Is...
  • C. Miles
    I am so very happy to have experienced this book. I want to hug the author and tell her that her ability to write openly and honestly about her feelings throughout her pregnancy and beyond is not just freeing, it's empowering and therpeutic! I've always known that, if I were to become a mother, it would not be in the happy, rainbows and sunshine, wish fulfilled, life purpose finding, sort of way. I will likely harbor resentment for my husband, wh...
  • Courtney Robinson
    Essential reading for women, of a certain age, who know they want or are not sure if they want children. O'Connell offers the most valuable gift a woman can give to other women, which is her unrelenting honesty and vulnerability. But she does so with enough self-awareness and critical thought so as not to conclude her experiences of pregnancy, birth and motherhood apply to everybody. This is a clear-eyed portrayal of one woman's experience, with ...
  • Alexandra
    I really enjoyed this! Not a mother but found the reviews intriguing and really loved the author's authentic voice. As an "old" millennial, whatever that means, her inner monologue seemed very true to myself and concerns and thoughts I have. It's fun to hear about the evolution of her relationship through having a child and the ups and downs and her reflection on it (like realizing somewhat after the fact how depressed she was). Hopefully more re...
  • Sarah
    Between reading this and watching Tully I think I need to take a break from learning about motherhood. The author said she wrote this book because it didn’t exist for her when she needed it and I found that truth staggering. How could it have not existed? Does no one tell you how hard it will be? Or do they just expect you to bear it? I could imagine myself handling the situation much like she did. To want a baby but not necessarily be a mom. T...
  • Laura
    O’Connell very much captured what it is like to be “in it” in the early stage of motherhood. The section on breastfeeding felt especially spot on and important. I left the book thinking about the title- is anyone ever ready for motherhood? Obviously O’Connell was referring to her pregnancy being unplanned; however, I think the title speaks to how you just can’t be prepared. The book did not feel particularly refreshing as I was reading ...