I'm Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya

I'm Afraid of Men

"Emotional and painful but also layered with humour, I'm Afraid of Men will widen your lens on gender and challenge you to do better. This challenge is a necessary one—one we must all take up. It is a gift to dive into Vivek's heart and mind." —Rupi Kaur, bestselling author of The Sun and Her Flowers and Milk and Honey A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl--and how we might re...

Details I'm Afraid of Men

TitleI'm Afraid of Men
Release DateAug 28th, 2018
PublisherPenguin Books Canada
GenreNonfiction, Lgbt, Autobiography, Memoir, Glbt, Queer, Writing, Essays

Reviews I'm Afraid of Men

  • Krista
    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the extraordinary parts of myself.As per her current author blurb, “Vivek Shraya is an artist whose body of wor...
  • Monika
    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone.Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If you're only buying one book this year, let it be this one.
  • Beth
    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It made me think about our roles in society and I found that it gave me a little bit of strength and encouragement to explore my own feelings on the topic. My can of nonconfo...
  • Jackie
    Some will be afraid of this book and that’s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself.
  • Lisa H
    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make good less nebulous? In what ways does the way we think about gender need to change? This books asks hard questions but they are exactly the discussions we need to be h...
  • Kiki
    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (and women -- basically everyone) through the years. I was excited for something substantive, but this was insufferable.
  • Andy Bird
    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It!
  • Liz Laurin
    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply.
  • Karina
    I’ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! ILoveGoodEssays
  • Kim Trusty
    Clear-eyed and questioning. A concise and emotional. A necessary read.
  • Prakash
    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemic violence of a forced gender binary robs us of the ability to both be safe and be ourselves. I really hope everyone who has ever cared about me reads this book so ...
  • ❇Critterbee
    *e-Arc Netgalley*
  • Krystal Hicks
    This was incredible powerful. Vivek’s honesty was inspiring and also eye opening. Definitely a must read. Thank you to Penguin Randomhouse for the ARC.
  • Lara
    *ARC from Penguin Canada*To echo Tegan & Sara, this book is required reading for all!! "Being a girl has required me to retrain myself to think of depending on others or asking for assistance not as weakness or even as pathetic, but rather as a necessity.""What might desire feel like if the construction of sexuality didn't take place in tandem with childhood experiences of violence from men?" "I am soothed by your quiet demeanour, the absence of ...
  • Julia Moreira
    "I’M AFRAID OF MEN because it was men who taught me fear. I’m afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I’m afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I’m afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the extraordinary parts of myself."
  • Cait
    This is an incredible book. Her perspective is one that is entirely different from my own, and I learned a lot while reading this. It’s a quick and short read, but her honesty is humbling, and so brave. To show the world who you truly are is an act of courage, and one that Vivek does with grace. This is a must read for everyone.
  • Joan
    Breathtakingly neurotic, self-absorbed person depicts countless incidents of self-consciousness throughout a life defined entirely by how others perceive her. At the end, one gets absolutely no sense that she's found emancipation or balance from her transition. Depressing and so very self-pitying.
  • Shonah
    Vivek Shraya says so much I’ve wanted to say, as a woman, and taught me so much about the struggles of being a trans woman.This book could be such an eye-opener for men on the fears that women and gender-nonconforming people face. Shraya highlights men’s “entitlement to space” and how seemingly subtle actions (manspreading on public transit) can be anxiety-inducing for women.
  • Jennifer Stansbury
    For such a quick read this book has impact. I understood how she felt but also saw my privilege as a cis woman. Everyone should read this. Not everyone will like it because it will make many people ( especially men) uncomfortable. But, that’s whole point.
  • Colleen
    I want to slip a copy of this book to everyone I know.
  • Lauren
    An open, honest essay that touches on many aspects of gender, sexuality, and the cultural stigmas of masculinity and femininity. Shraya’s unique perspective makes this writing and others like it incredibly important for everyone to read.
  • Kelly
    Absolutely honest, searingly honest book about first being too feminine as a girl and then too masculine as a boy. This book is by multi-talented Vivek who has written other books (for adults and kids), sings, and has now created a publishing house for young people of colour. The struggle to be yourself while others criticize or denegrate you is real here and Vivek's experience, while different than that of others, is palpable. She talks about ne...
  • Mike
    Excellent! Touching personal stories woven together to illustrate the serious shortcomings in the treatment and understanding of gender, sex, and otherness. It's not preachy or abstract. It's welcoming and reflective and it flows easily from one moment to the next. I appreciate her overall invitation to "make room" for everyone--a simple suggestion to be mindful of others.Great, quick read that is sure to provoke some wonderful conversations!
  • Diane Creeman
    I picked up this beautiful little Penguin hardcover with high hopes. I wanted to read a trenchant essay on toxic masculinity. This book is garbage. It's like something someone in grade eight would write in their diary. The gist of it is "this boy in high school I thought was cute told my friend he wanted to beat me up and it scarred me for life and now I don't know how to have sex." It's truly that banal. I don't know how anyone could rhapsodize ...
  • Anuradha
    Gender identity is a personal thing, a natural state of being, yet there are so many people who struggle to find acceptance from others. This book should be read by EVERYONE to understand this struggle that human beings - who don't conform to society's idea of binary gender - have to endure. Vivek tells us her story directly, honestly, compellingly. Empowered!
  • Anna Bunce
    This book was excellent. A must read and a short one at that - but it's hardly short on ideas or topics to discuss and meditate on. Would make an excellent book club read. Vivek illuminates a reality that on the whole may be different from your own reality but you'll easily find slivers that ring so true to your own experience that reading it back on paper will be like looking in a mirror.
  • Darby Lacey
    Absolutely beautiful storytelling of Shraya’s experiences with misogyny, homophobia, and racism as she works towards a new definition of masculinity and gender! She is a critical voice to read and here as we continue to dismantle oppressive power structures.
  • Tasy
    This is a must read for everyone. I didn't realize how ignorant I was of the struggle Trans people go through. This book has taught me emapathy and understanding that I thought I already had. I received this as an advanced reading copy from Indigo Books. #indigoemployee
  • Trina
    Excellent, short book that looks at gender roles and constructions, the author’s life experiences. Done in a frank way, it will be relatable for many, and could be eye opening for just an equal number of readers. I highly recommend it!
  • Joelle
    This book is a generous gift. It’s an offering that I hope many of us will be open to receive. I wish it was a book of essays, rather than just one short piece! I will always look forward to work by Vivek Shraya.