Friendfluence by Carlin Flora


Discover the unexpected ways friends influence our personalities, choices, emotions, and even physical health in this fun and compelling examination of friendship, based on the latest scientific research and ever-relatable anecdotes.Why is dinner with friends often more laughter filled and less fraught than a meal with family? Although some say it’s because we choose our friends, it’s also because we expect less of them than we do of relative...

Details Friendfluence

Release DateJan 15th, 2013
GenreNonfiction, Psychology, Sociology, Self Help, Relationships, Science

Reviews Friendfluence

  • Kater Cheek
    Since I haven't read other books (that I can remember) specifically dealing with friends and friendship before, I expected this book to really blow me away. Friends are a huge influence in our lives, almost as great as families, and greater for certain age groups. Best things about this book are that it deals with a subject I haven't read other books about. The writing didn't get in the way, thoughts seemed to flow smoothly from one chapter to an...
  • Bookish
    Some fascinating facts and a few surprises here. For example, "One survey found that 18-24 year olds are nearly four times as likely as people over 55 to have a best friend of the opposite sex. In contrast, in a study that explored the role of best friends in the lives of married couples (an older cohort) not a single person among the 654 participants declared that they had someone of the opposite sex as a close friend." However, this book is lim...
  • Eustacia Tan
    I was recently asked to name a few friends, and my first reaction was:“I don’t have friends!”I might have been joking, but only a little. As much as I liked living in Japan, I went through some serious bouts of “do I have any friends here?” (to be fair, I had those bouts through my school years in Singapore too)Which is why I picked up this book – I wanted to find out more about friendships and if I was abnormal. I’m still not sure ...
  • Teena in Toronto
    We moved a lot (for no good reason!) when I was a kid. By the time I got to grade ten, I'd been in eight schools (four different schools just in grade eight!). I never had any problem making friends but I must say it was hard going to a new school and making new friends just to leave them and have to do the same thing over and over. I would be penpals with the friends I left behind but we would eventually lose touch. I don't have the luxury that ...
  • Jen
    Everyone should read this book (or one like it) in order to better understand and utilize the relationships that make up such a huge part of our lives. This made me appreciate the friendships I have gained in my life and feel better about the ones that I have lost. This book also attends to the loneliness that exists in all of us and how friends help us break through our depressions and push us to be good people.Pages 134-135: "Surrounding yourse...
  • Anna
    I found the first half of Friendfluence a bit dry because the information wasn't new to me. I already knew most of it intuitively and from experience. It was interesting, but I wasn't learning anything that I thought was "surprising" (as the subtitle suggests). I did love that it was a well-researched compilation of study findings (235 resources!).I found the second half of the book more engaging, specifically in the chapters about the perks of f...
  • Karen
    While this book doesn't reveal anything groundbreaking, it did trigger me to consider the friendships I have now and those I've had in the past and the impact they've had on my life. I've always leaned toward a smaller group of friends as I tend to get a little overwhelmed in larger groups and end up quietly sitting back while more extroverted folks stand at center stage. I found it interesting when she discussed friendships at work and productiv...
  • Ariana
    I've recently become very interested in friendships of all kinds and how individuals form, maintain and end these relationships across time, so this book jumped out to me at my local library. In short, Friendfluence is a straightforward pop psychology read about how our friendships are often some of the most important relationships we're capable of having. While I didn't find myself very captivated by the book, I did enjoy learning more about wha...
  • Gina
    I've always believed that the key relationships in my life has always been friendships. But sharing this belief with others over the years proven to be a challenge that I was beginning to think of myself as an oddball or wanting too much from my friends. This book proves otherwise and it's great to know someone out there agrees with me.
  • Brooke Evans
    I really appreciated the way this book validated the importance of friendship and its place in our lives. The author makes the point that since friendships aren't legal, formalized relationships in our society, they don't carry the same status of a parent/spouse/etc. relationship, so we don't really think to credit them with the level of influence they actually have on us. She talks about ways friendships (with some of the unique traits they carr...
  • Tammy-&-Michelle
    Friendfluence investigates the types of friends people have and how these friends have influenced different types of behaviors. The novel looks at the development of friendships, male and female, over many years. From adolescence to adulthood, friends or lack thereof can provide significant influence. The onset of social media is examined and how this “instant contact” has altered the “face to face” friendships of the past. You may agree ...
  • Leo Ostapiv
    We just discussed “Friendfluence” at San Francisco Non Fiction book club. I had no clear opinion about rating before the meeting (3 or 4 stars), so I now I am feel confident about 3. Good:- The main benefit you get from the book is that it makes you think about your friends, how important there are and how much time you spend with them- I overall enjoyed chapter on modern technology and liked the idea “It’s wrong to ask what social media ...
  • Read2review
    To say this book has shown me a new light, so to speak, on how I look at my friends and the relationships I have with them in a very big understatement.I found myself learning something new throughout the book. Each chapter offering a new way to look at things, including a chapter on social media which was very eye opening.I thoroughly enjoyed this book and although I found it hard going as it’s almost a text book I was intreagued to read more....
  • Jennifer
    I've always attributed a rather large significance to friendships and how they have influenced my life. I feel that this book has strengthened this seemingly personal truth and made it universal. I always knew that emotionally and psychologically I've been challenged and made better by all of my I know that physically they play a role as well. It's not surprising but it's like a belief that you know you know but was forgotten and th...
  • April
    excellent book, I never truly thought about my friendships until i read this book. I have several good friends that i have had for numerous years and never truly thought about how they came along or developed throughout the years. This book has given me a different way to look at these friendships and the ones i am sure are to come. It has also allowed me to look at myself and ask how i can do things differently in the future with my current frie...
  • Holly Wood
    Basically reads like a very long research paper of useful data interspersed throughout with completely useless personal anecdotage.
  • Kes
    Why do we prefer spending time with our friends over our families? ... More likely, our time with our pals is more enjoyable because of our expectations. When we're with friends, we bring sympathy and understanding and leave out some of the grievances we carry into interactions with family members. We tend to demand less of friends than we do from relatives or our romantic partners, and each friend provides us distinct benefits. For instance, one...
  • Havebooks Willread
    I was disappointed in this book as the writing was stilted and not enjoyable or fast to read. It was also from a decidedly secular perspective, which is ok with me, but just doesn't give it extra stars since I have a different worldview from that of the author. I thought it would be interesting to consider concrete ways the friends in our lives influence who we are, but I don't know that she shared much I didn't already intuitively understand. I ...
  • Paul Manytravels
    A good book and quick read, it presents research Using a combination of research and anecdotal stories, the book details how we are influenced, altered and otherwise affected by our friendships. Some of the impact of friendships is well understood by all of us, but the research presented here goes beyond that, discussing the sometimes amazing ways we are impacted by our friends without even realizing it.In current times, there is a rising rate of...
  • Li Yuan
    It's rather an interesting book, wherby involves with statistics and survey of how individuals established their friendship based on external and internal factors. The author covers various factors that maintains friendship and how certain external factors (such as social media, the individual and the peer's level of influence, personality and emotional intelligence, etc.) affect the friendship. What can a reader take from this book is the tips t...
  • Katie
    Friendfluence is exactly what the name says: a book about how friends influence each other. The book looks at a wide array of friendships: children who become friends because their parents know each other, friendships formed because of common illnesses, friendships that are fleeting, friendships with like-minded people, friendships with people who are completely different, etc. It also looks at the way friendships can be destructive. The book can...
  • Marcey Rader
    Interesting read on how friendships shape us, much more so than family. Great insight into kids and what should be encouraged/discouraged in relationships. Being an against-my-will social media user because I have a business, the chapter on social media use encouraged me to continue to limit the time I spend on it.
  • Kayla
    This book is fascinating! There is so much information contained within this book that I am going to need to read it a second time to fully comprehend everything I read. This book made me examine all of my past and present friendships. Made me appreciate the friends that have truly shaped me into the person I am today. Especially the one that has been my best friend since we were young.
  • Amanda Chua
    We are indeed created for community and no man is an island. There are things/lessons we can’t pick up or learn on our own, even if we so want to be away from the vast majority of the society/crowd at times just to be in our own bubble of thoughts.
  • Jill Pouliot
    An eye-opening book to friendships. Very insightful.
  • Aimee
    Audiobook. Interesting and insightful. New perspectives on the importance of friends.
  • Laura
    While reading Carlin Flora’s book, I was reminded of a friend and roommate who was dear to me as the friendship with my now-husband blossomed into a dating relationship. I never invited her to our wedding and neglected to keep up our friendship. Our friendship faded away without any large blow up as we graduated and went in different directions just like those of high school with those folks who signed my yearbook "K.I.T Keep in touch." I've se...
  • Robyn
    I can think of several more tags for this book. Conduct-of-life, because friendships are a basic part of all our lives, awesome-powers, because of the amazing things friends can consciously or subconsciously inspire us to do, bullying and horror, because of the awful and cruel things friends can also do, survival, because friends can help us get through the worst times in our lives, self-esteem, whether friends build it up or tear it down, and mo...
  • Adelle Waldman
    In lucid, compelling language, Carlin Flora offers a gently radical new way to think not just of our friends but of ourselves. In a world full of self-help books that dissect romantic relationships and nuclear families, we tend to overlook the people who may influence more than anyone else: our peers.From earliest childhood on, friends and playmates teach us empathy and the basic social skills needed to interact with others. The lessons we learn ...
  • Shonna Froebel
    I found this book very interesting. There are lots of books about relationship and family interactions, but not so many about friends. Flora shows that studies document that friends usually have a greater influence on our lives than these other relationships. She covers this research, showing the influence that friendships have whether they continue frequent contact or not, whether they are close geographically or not. She also covers how we make...