Mate by Tucker Max


The #1 bestselling pioneer of "fratire" and a leading evolutionary psychologist team up to create the dating book for guys Whether they conducted their research in life or in the lab, experts Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller have spent the last 20+ years learning what women really want from their men, why they want it, and how men can deliver those qualities.The short answer: become the best version of yourself possible, then show it off. It so...

Details Mate

Release DateSep 15th, 2015
PublisherLittle, Brown and Company
GenrePsychology, Self Help, Relationships, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Social

Reviews Mate

  • Ole Hylland Spjeldnæs
    Day 3722: Still a virgin *sigh*
  • Katherine
    I am of course not the target market for this book, but I was very curious after reading about it at and considering essays like which made me want to be more compassionate towards lonely, awkward young men who may want to do the right thing but don't have any guides that aren't douches. I mean, I do think Nice Guy syndrome is totally a thing, but maybe outside of r...
  • Kim
    I realize that I'm female, and thus not the target audience for this book. But wow, if you follow the advice in here, you will get laid. I really want to buy this book for a couple of clueless male friends who complain often about dating, but they'd probably be insulted.*Especially* valuable in this book are the insights into female thinking and behavior. I actually read this book to get clarification on why I react so strongly to certain things ...
  • Adam Smith
    I look back to the days when I was senior in High School. I was an all-rounder, played four sports--football, basketball, baseball, and track--I stood as roughly a star player, finished in top three in the state with the most interceptions in a season, and accomplished many impactful plays. Furthermore, I was a student government president and involved several organizations. Just a brainstorm to give you an idea of my lifestyle's like in High Sch...
  • Sean Goh
    Science guy content communicated in a frat guy voice.But it's solid stuff.Be clear of what you want, make sure you're in the right place, get your shit together (health and basic wealth) and make sure you display the right signals.________________Confidence is the realistic expectation you have of being successful at something given a) your competence at it and b) the risk involved with doing itConfidence requires that you go through the anxiety ...
  • Joshrof
    **Below is what I sent in as feedback on their site**I just finished reading mate. Before I get started I should state that I've been a tucker max fan since I was in high school (graduated 06). We skipped (high) school one day to go down to University of Maryland to have our copies of "I hope they serve beer in hell" signed. It was awesome; tucker looked hungover and miserable, my young life was complete. I've also been listening to the podcast "...
  • Aryeh Levine
    The fact that I'm uncomfortable with this book being in my library says a lot. Tucker Max shouldn't have been involved. Fuck that guy.Miller is cool in my book though. I genuinely enjoyed a good number of his insights into evolutionary psychology and human mating. As a guy who spent the years of his puberty and adolescence in an all-male compound studying 2000-year-old religious and legal spats in Aramaic, books like this are welcome and apprecia...
  • Malik Wise
    It was incredible. More and more often as we lose all sense of the world around us while staring at the screens of our smart phones and computers, we forget to pass along useful knowledge. Especially for the political climate these past few years and the talk of toxic masculinity, I think this book is important. The authors spend a great deal of time providing information that they wish they could have had in their younger years that not only hel...
  • Huma Rashid
    I read this bc I was curious but rolled my eyes through all the nutrition shit, specifically where these guys say to avoid all grains ever. Nah. Junk science.
  • Michael Shore
    Yes, the cover of this book sucks. It takes a role on ones pride just cracking it open. The discrepancy between the cover and the content is striking. Not sure why the fuck they went with this cover.Parts of the book are very insightful. There’s a lot of analysis of the mating game through the lens of evolutionary psychology, which I found fascinating. What dating is like from the female perspective is also laid out throughly in a way that is i...
  • Aaron
    I never would've thought in a million years I'd read and end up loving a Tucker Max book. I used to see his books on shelves and just think here's another obnoxious PUA who made his fortune bragging about how much sex he has/had. Which may or may not be true.However, Mate ended up being the opposite of that. And much like the authors state throughout, "I wish I would've had this book when I was 17." Basically, the entire impetus of the book is to...
  • Jeff Crane
    Loved reading this book. Analyzing the millions of years of evolution involved, it's a practical and educational read filled with humor on an incredibly important and misunderstood subject with a research-based approach.My favorite takeaways:The different types of intelligence: [fill in later].Attracting someone is not about doing anything big, but instead doing little things - taking care of your body & mind. Sleep well, eat well, exercise well,...
  • Tammy
    READ THIS BOOK! Yes, you. I started this book because I was curious about what guys would say women want. I never imagined I would not only agree with every word, but get a better understanding and explanation my own feelings and behaviors! The material in this book validated feelings I had in my last relationship (which of course were never validated while in said relationship),helped me get past those feelings of hurt through a better understan...
  • Bibliovoracious
    Ugh, I want to hate it, but it's not wrong with much of its information. Of course, it reads like it's written by Geoffery Miller, with a bit of Tucker Max sprinkled in for the association, and hey, if it gets some sense in front of the eyes of anyone who thinks TM is in any way admirable, then by all means, associate away! I think I read it in shock waiting for some anecdotal explanation of how TM met someone who married him, but it's not there....
  • Jason
    It's too early to give this a full review, but I like what I've read so far. Tucker has put aside his rambunctious persona to coauthor a dating guide with Geoff Miller based on up-to-date science in the field of evolutionary bio. I'm at the part about confidence as a barometer of past performance demo'd, and at age 34 am having both 'ah-ha' and 'yes, exactly' moments. I think this going to be a valuable book for a lot of people, regardless of the...
  • Glen
    I found this to be very interesting and potentially eye opening. I clearly haven't been doing things right and maybe this book is the correct approach. Would recommend to anyone looking for more info on getting a relationship and making it work.
  • Curtis Taylor
    I enjoyed this book but it's mostly about attracting a mate, if you want a book more tailored on how to stay in relationships that is also based more in psychology then I suggest Deeper Dating by Ken Page.
  • Avery Chipka
    Oddly enough a great book about gender psychology.
  • Adam Ashton
    A pretty simple way to get girls - be a good bloke and improve yourself in all areas
  • Michael Kich
    This is a very thorough guide to cultivating your mate value that's worth returning to from time to time. A lot of the chapters seemed like common sense to me, although it can be good to formalize advice. Each chapter tackles a different aspect of the mating game as it's (usually wrongly) perceived by men, drawing heavily from the authors' extensive personal experience as well as current research in evolutionary psychology. It's also a worthy gui...
  • Tony | Outwork
    Tucker’s cult classic, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, is one of my all-time favorite books. It is raunchy, hilarious, and really well-written. Max is a superb writer that understands how to relate to his readers and has created an entire genre of satire in the process. What Women Want is perhaps his attempt to undo some of his wrongs, such as introducing a generation of guys that are out “story hunting.” It is more than a step by step guid...
  • Evan McB
    I started this one back in 2015 but ended up in a loving relationship and married before I reached page 40. Thanks, Tucker Max! Now I'm reading it for completeness' sake, although some things have changed since its initial release. I had forgotten that kino used to be PUA jargon for touching a woman's elbow so that she'll fall in love with you or whatever. Now kino means "very good movie." But despite any cultural shifts related to jargon, it see...
  • James
    I'm giving this a 5/5 since it presents a lot of actionable advice. It's also presented in a way that isn't PUA or red-pill, and I think that the average guy can get a lot out of this, especially if he is willing to take stock of where he is in various aspects of his life, and to try to affect meaningful change. I learned a lot in this book, including some eating habits which have really helped me (paleo). Also, I enjoyed all of the resources tha...
  • Tony Boyles
    This is NOT the book you'd expect, based on Tucker Max's reputation. In this, he's genuinely grown to be interested in helping men become better *people*, and the advice is spot-on. He treats women as respectfully, as meaningful people with their own rich internal lives, rather than as walking pieces of meat with mysterious reasons for accepting or rejecting offers of sex. And yes, the impetus is to help men achieve their goals (not mincing the f...
  • Arnăutu Dan
    Best practical book on becoming the man women want, getting to know how women think (not just at surface level) and how these two dovetail nicely with cutting edge science and evolutionary psychology.No shady pickup tactics, no win-lose situations, no war strategies needed to get women's attention. Just a pure focus on developing the skills and traits that women have evolved to find most attractive and that predict a long, healthy, successful and...
  • Miles
    As a happily married 56 year old man, I'm not the prime audience for "Mating", but this book spoke to me. I'm very interested in the dynamics of the marriage market and in decision making around marriage and sex, and this book offers a comprehensive perspective for young men, grounded in a reasonable take on evolutionary psychology. I hope that my 19 year old son will read it, and I think my 15 year old daughter would find it interesting too. It'...
  • Anibal Santos
    I recommend the Mating ground podcast to all men. It's a scientist (Dr. Miller) and a Tucker Max talking about all things men and women in the world of dating. It shows you an honest way to approach and convey your interest in women. It also talks about the insecurities and struggles both sexes have, but honning in more the male side of things. This book is an extension of the podcast. The book not only tells you how to become the man women want,...
  • Brian
    The authors attempt to portray a women's viewpoint for choosing men. The combination of common sense and current beliefs in evolutionary biology is plausible, for the most part. Their target audience is men in their late teens and twenties. I would have benefited from reading this book forty-some years ago, and perhaps even now.
  • Akita
    This is one of the best self-improvement books I've read so far, and the best book about relationships. Thank God it's not full of scientific data. It's clear, and gets straight to the point. You also have Tucker's fresh sense of humor.
  • Malcolm Ivey
    I borrowed this from a friend and smirked when I saw the name Tucker Max, but... I could not put it down. Halfway through, I started taking notes. If you've been out of the loop for a while, this book will help reintegrate you into the dating scene with both competence and confidence.