The Rough Patch by Daphne de Marneffe

The Rough Patch

From a leading clinical psychologist who has counseled couples and individuals for decades, a wise, radical, and optimistic approach to marriage that promises compatibility between an individual’s development and the often relentless demands of a relationship.People today are trying to make their marriages work over longer lives than ever before—for their children’s health and well-being, and for their own. Indeed, among the college-educate...

Details The Rough Patch

TitleThe Rough Patch
Release DateJan 23rd, 2018
GenreNonfiction, Relationships, Psychology, Marriage, Self Help

Reviews The Rough Patch

  • Mehrsa
    This isn't exactly a marriage advice book that lays out how to communicate or how to stay in love, but it is a really important book for anyone who has been married for a long time and is in midlife. It just shows that your troubles are neither insurmountable nor are they all that unique. The book goes section by section and analyses a couple or two that struggle with each issue (money, aging, etc). Some are better than others, but the book on th...
  • Catelyn Silapachai
    I've read a fair amount of marriage books and this one is at the top of the list. Nuanced psychology with lots of real life examples from the author's experience as a couple's therapist. The book is marketed towards couples going through a mid-life crisis, but as a 31 year old (5 years into marriage), I found it relatable, interesting, and encouraging.
  • Pam Cipkowski
    Full disclosure: I am neither married at the time, nor living together with anyone. Yet I still found this a helpful and informative read with regards to relationships. When cultivating a relationship, it helps to focus on three questions: Who do I want to be as an individual? Who do I want to be as a partner? And how do the two fit together? The book is filled with various scenarios and case studies of dilemmas and “rough patches” often enco...
  • Kathleen
    We went through a rough patch a few years ago and I wish we had read this book. It would have been infinitely more useful than any of the others we read. Even after a couple of years on the other side of our rough patch, I still found the book really helpful. There are many conversations I would like to have with my husband after reading this book so that we can avoid going through similar trials again in the future. The author focuses most of th...
  • Lilatovinl
    This was one of the most insightful relationship books I’ve ever read. At times I felt as if the author had been in the same room when me and my husband were arguing. She provides a refreshing outlook on marriage and I highly recommend to anyone going through a “rough patch”.
  • Cristine Mermaid
    To be fair, this is an ARC so it hasn't completely been edited yet so a couple of the issues I have with it may not be relevant by the time it is actually released.I started reading this on break and it resonated. I am their demographic. I related to so much of it and it was incredibly reassuring to learn that my feelings/thoughts/experiences are quite typical and normal. I highlighted this book like mad because so many thoughts I have that worry...
  • Katie Pierson
    I liked how she built chapters around common marital issues (money, loneliness, etc.) and she's good at urging you to own your own stuff. But I also got the strong impression that she didn't like most of her clients. She made frequent jabs about their appearance, etc. that was off-putting in a therapist.
  • Marcia Miller
    I felt a bit like a voyeur reading the many descriptions of couples who sought counseling from Dr. de Marneffe to address their marital "rough patches." While she may be a highly experienced and well-regarded therapist, her writing style comes across as dull and repetitive. I found this book to be a tedious read whose insights scarcely made me feel especially enlightened or informed. Maybe it simply wasn't for me.
  • Sarah SL
    Excellent practical advice for middle age.
  • Susan Underbrink
    A big thank you to NetGalley for the ARC. I am voluntarily reviewing this book. Not sure I got this as I am now separated . Maybe to see how I can avoid making the same mistakes. I found it interesting, but not with many tips. It reconfirmed that what I was feeling wasn't unusual. I may have missed it but I didn't see much on divorce with older children. Overall I found it helpful.
  • Nicole Heckel
    there were some really good messages in here but it just didn't feel as comprehensive as I would have liked. there was a lot of focus on children, which can't be generalized to a lot of couples, and the majority of the examples didn't feel even remotely true which made that hard to generalize as well. However, the bits that I found valuable were REALLY good, so I kind of forgave it
  • Hoss
    Thoughtful, insightful and deeply moving. Ms de Marneffe is a keen observer of “the rough patch” and what makes marriage work.
  • Arthur Kyriazis
    This is a very well written book with an incisive introduction that is fully & well documented utilizing the key & major sources in the field. The writing is concise and clear to a fault. The book is separated into commonsense chapters which examine various stages of marital discord from the anecdotal, factual, scientific and historical perspectives, but always in a manner that is both easy to read yet cursive with the literature and sensible to ...
  • Jim
    "I... hope that each reader will embrace the opportunity to focus on three questions: Who do I want to be as an individual? Who do I want to be as a partner? And how do the two fit together? My goal is to create breathing space around these questions."Arguing that "the midpoint of life represents the moment of maximal conflict between our drive to seek external solutions to our emotional dilemmas and our recognition that, ultimately, they don't ...
  • Wendy
    Trying to make a marriage work in this day and age is difficult with all the outside influences that so easily can rip apart the love and harmony that was initially experienced. “The Rough Patch” which I won through Goodreads Giveaways explores the problems that develop as a marriage progresses and unhappiness emerges when one or both marital partners feel lonely, confused, going through the motions, stuck in a rut or so distraught that they ...
  • Kaun Tan
    The Hallmark of Emotional GrowthYou don’t need to be going though a rough patch to be able to glean the many intricacies of human relationships and learn from them and to be ready for the rough patch when it does happen. The very practical wisdom in this book not only introduces open individuals to a richer and more meaningful life with others, it does so with oneself; as one soon finds that essentially all relationships are about.
  • james p glodjo
    Very good
  • Susan
    I thought that this would be an interesting non-fiction. The content can be helpful for any relationship, but I just found the info un-relateable.
  • Benjamin
    Helpful book on working through (or avoiding) marital challenges.
  • Arthur
    The best parts are the examples, which are interesting. The author tends to philosphize and generalize a bit much which is not everywhere interesting. I recommend skimming most of the book.
  • Kristen Majkut
  • Deborah Stevens
    Really thoughtful take on middle age in general (not just marriage). Nothing formulaic here; much to think about.