If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late by James J. Sexton

If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late

Hard-hitting divorce lawyer James Sexton shares his insights and wisdom from the front lines of divorce to keep you out of his office and improve your relationship.If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late. James Sexton knows this. After dealing with more than a thousand clients whose marriages have dissolved over everything from an ill-advised threesome with the nanny to the uneven division of carpool duties, he also knows all of the what-no...

Details If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late

TitleIf You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late
Release DateApr 10th, 2018
PublisherHenry Holt & Company
GenreNonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Relationships

Reviews If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late

  • Janelle
    Well, this was a terrifying read. I can see why the author says he doesn't get invited to cocktail parties. (He does, however, point out that he still gets invited to weddings. So there's that.)James Sexton has litigated over twelve hundred divorces in his career. He's seen the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats. The acrimonious and amicable. He's represented the ones blind-sided by the divorce papers, he's represented an actual pimp in a custody ...
  • Carin
    Come for the entertaining stories about divorcing partners, stay for the simple, practical advice for staying together and working things out.James is a divorce lawyer in New York City. He's one of the rare divorce lawyers who wanted to go into that field from day one (most wannabee lawyers are more idealistic and change their minds partway through or after law school.) He doesn't relish destroying relationships but they're already destroyed befo...
  • Danielle
    This is a how-not-to book, not a how-to. I liked his frank tone, common sense reminders, and juicy stories of bad behavior ;)
  • Mehrsa
    This book is hilarious and really insightful. It's honest and realistic marriage advice from a divorce lawyer. I mean, I don't think it will help you achieve a wonderful marriage, but it will make you re-think a lot of things. Such as, being on facebook (huge agent in divorce), not having a life after marriage, and even treating childcare in marriage like you would if you were divorced--I think this is actually an excellent idea as I've seen many...
  • Laurie
    Fantastic. Everyone interested in keeping their relationship together should read this book. Well written, entertaining and smart. And witty as hell.
  • Denise E.
    Now THIS is entertainment. Not currently a divorced person (or even a law aficianado), I very much enjoyed this book. Imagine Saul Goodman's voice from Better Call Saul - sneery, jaded, world weary, grandstanding, but with a good purpose. So in this book Sexton's purpose subtly enumerating the principles that make marriages work. The book has 40ish chapters in number each with an idea behind them. Each principle has a number of HOPEFULLY fictiona...
  • Sarah
    Okay, so I was a little embarrassed at first to admit that I was reading a relationship self-help book. But hey, research, right? The biggest commitment of my life so far is way too important to me to go in unprepared.I was just intrigued, at first: approaching marriage success from the perspective of divorce is undeniably an unusual angle. Then I started reading the first page and got hooked, something that almost never happens to me. Sexton is ...
  • Britt
    4.5 stars. Being a pragmatic person (for the most part) I found this book insightful and helpful, especially if you are invested in your relationship and as James poses make it thrive: "... marriage is a living thing, an organism. It survives when we repeat roughly the same conditions from day to day, but it thrives when it is truly nourished. There’s a difference between waking up every day and not doing anything different (It’s Tuesday, we...
  • Jill Vogel Kinison
    this book is a must read for anyone considering marriage, about to get married or even already married. the cases he shares offer brevity and a reality check to where you might be in your relationship. many chapters offer stories and anecdotes involving Parenthood. I myself am not a parent but I loved reading through it anyway to gather perspective as an aunt and friend to those parents in my life. I loved this book and first heard of the author ...
  • Amanda
    I received a copy of this book from a Goodreads giveaway. I liked that this book had a very different perspective than most marriage advice books. The stories were funny and there was some interesting advice.
  • Kirsti
    I had to warn my husband that this book was coming to the house. Divorce books make him nervous.Recently a New York Times writer got a divorce and did a roundup review of all the latest divorce books. I couldn't resist a book that describes a divorce as a knife fight in a closet with the lights out and your spouse and your kids and all your favorite possessions inside.There's some practical and wise advice here, but I was more interested in the s...
  • Deepa Nirmal
    As someone who has been happily married for 20 years, I think I’m well qualified to review this book. James Sexton tells it like it is, from his very unique experience of having supervised the dissolution of over a thousand marriages. I would give this book as a gift to every newlywed. In fact I’d give it to single friends looking for a relationship.From communication, manipulation and sex to Facebook, extended family and denial (not a river ...
  • Andrienne
    I feel jaded about relationship books, but this one is oh so refreshing. It cracked me up, and not the slapstick sort at that. The author truly knows his stuff. I’ve worked with lawyers so I know where they are coming from, but it’s easy to see the author in a positive light when he writes about what he does. He doles some pretty good advice with plenty, oh so plenty of anecdotes that are just straight up messed up but horrifyingly true. I pa...
  • Ashlie
    A couple interesting points and potentially useful relationship building techniques. A bit depressing view into marriage itself in america though, albeit honest. I need a romance novel chaser now lol. Would recommend to anyone considering divorce though for sure, for the perspective alone. And I definitely do think I am slightly more prepared for marriage, if/when. I enjoyed the unique honest perspective mainly.
  • Anna John
    This book is more of a what not to do. The author is divorced himself and has a very “divorce is usually the answer” approach to relationships. But this book is very entertaining and the stories of his various clients are a fun addition. I don’t personally see this book as a self help book but more of a “these are the various causes of divorce I come across, try to avoid this”.
  • Alison
    I thought this book had a lot of interesting insight on why marriages fail. I read this as a blissfully happy divorced individual, but I think this could be even more beneficial to read while actually married. It also talks about how to protect yourself while married in case it ever ends by understanding the finances, kids activities, etc. so you are not blindsided in case the marriage does end.
  • Cara Bristol
    Eye-opening advice on what NOT to do if you're married, and by extrapolation, what you CAN do to better the odds of having a successful marriage. This ought to be required reading for every couple thinking of getting married. I'll also add that this book entertaining and funny.
  • Dina Rodriguez
    A book written by a divorce lawyer that gives great common sense advice on how-not-to get to a divorce. Entertaining true divorce stories.
  • Megan Hall
    Great book! This book is full of great suggestions and recommendations. It is full of hilarious stories that pertain to the advice he is giving. Would highly recommend reading.
  • Traci at The Stacks
    I liked some of the advice. Some was obvious or felt cliche. The book is fine and fun but could use some inclusion of lifestyles and identities that aren’t heteronormative. Strong independent women. Men who stay home. Queer. Gender fluid etc.
  • Jess Dollar
    This is my new favorite marriage book.
  • Mo Shah
    Amusing, in the way schadenfraude is amusing.
  • Christine Law
    I heard this author interviewed on NPR and was so intrigued that I bought the book. It is not written from a Christian perspective and is filled with rough language but the book makes some great points and asks some questions that I have never considered. For instance, the author calls marriage a tool and ask what is the problem you are trying to solve with this tool. The answer to that question reveals what you most value in your marriage and th...
  • Courteney Mccoppin
    Came for the gratuitous divorce stories and was not disappointed. As for the marriage advice, it pretty much is common sense: don’t be an asshole, pay attention, have empathy. But a fun, interesting read all the same.
  • Naeemah Huggins
    Finally someone who speaks my language. "The romance in the movie the Titanic is bullshit. I feel the same way about Romeo and Juliet and other such tragic love stories. At least one of the parties dies before they get to see and live for a while with the yet unexpressed more annoying parts of their partner, which is when real love kicks in, or doesn't.""Marriage isn't hard work, as long as you don't consider paying attention hard work" I'm forev...
  • Travis
    Excellent read. Mr. Sexton is honest, sometimes brutally so, about communication and relationships from the perspective of a hard nosed divorce lawyer. Humorous anecdotes and interesting stories throughout, and a great perspective on how to work together to build a great relationship.
  • Michelle
    A how not to conduct your marriage blk from a divorce lawyer. It was a good read, if a bit repetitive and meandering. Best read as if you've settled down by the fireplace and are listening to your garrisons but entertaining lawyer uncle expound on his insights and experiences in helping thousands of couples wind down their marriages. Liked the anecdotes best and the footnotes least.
  • Michelle Nelson
    This was fascinating
  • Zhuo Zhang
    very piratical advice with a lot of interesting stories.
  • JTRyan
    Entertaining, how not to...