Duped by Abby Ellin


Abby Ellin was shocked to learn that her fiancé was leading a secret life. But as she soon discovered, the world is full of people who aren't what they seem. From Abby Ellin's first date with the Commander, she was caught up in a whirlwind. Within six months he'd proposed, and they'd moved in together. But soon, his exotic stories of international espionage began to unravel. Finally, it all became clear: he was lying about who he was. After ...

Details Duped

Release DateJan 15th, 2019
GenreNonfiction, Autobiography, Memoir, Psychology, Crime, True Crime

Reviews Duped

  • Debra
    "He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it much easier to do it a second time and third time till at length it becomes habitual." - Thomas JeffersonAbby Ellin was duped by a man called "The Commander". He told her that he was a doctor with a secret job, he worked for the government and could not give her details about what his job ensued. He went on secret missions and sent her back amazing photos of his time fighting espionage overseas...
  • Valerity (Val)
    Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost MarriedAfter the author, a writer who considers herself pretty savvy when it comes to people, finds that she’s been totally conned in her personal relationship, she decides to write a book about that experience and more. She tells what happened with “The Commander” as she called him, a doctor who was a Marine and took off all over doing deeds of good at a moment’s notice. All...
  • Shelly
    Surprisingly captivating! This book had me turning the pages well after midnight and well after my eyes wanted to close. The author tells the stories of duplicitous individuals in a fascinating and engaging manner. I was hooked form page one. I appreciated the scientific anecdotes alongside the enthralling narratives. Five stars.
  • Marianne K
    Wow, a book about dupers, and liars, what's not to like!? A very interesting subject that the Liberal author could not resist using to make multiple digs at the current administration in D.C. I was willing to forgive the first time right at the beginning of the book, and then the second time a few pages later, but it wore thin after a while. If I'd wanted to read a political book skewering Donald Trump, then I would have sought one out. I really ...
  • Kayo
    Truly fascinating. While author got duped, she writes about lying and deception and how we all can fall various ways. Excellent read! Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
  • Jackie
    Abby Ellin explores the reality of the pathological liar in our society in all it's permutations. She was involved in 2010 with the Commander, a man who boasted of CIA links, covert missions, and links to famous people. As a woman who was married to a pathological liar, I could readily relate to her bewilderment at being duped - these liars are eminently persuasive. The book is fascinating- exploring the concept on a personal, and then historical...
  • Jennie
    3.5 stars. Really interesting look at lying liars who lie. It's crazy to think about the people around us who are living in a puddle of lies. I knew a woman in college who was a compulsive liar, but luckily I wasn't in close enough range to suffer from it. Ellin tells about her ex-fiance who told so many lies (about his job, his family, his relationships, his OTHER FIANCEE, etc) that it's not surprising that it unraveled. We like to tell ourselve...
  • Robyn Murphy
    This isn’t a memoir but rather a study of human nature, and I found it completely engrossing. Ellin, an engaging writer, is able to merge raw reflections and science into something I truly wanted to read.
  • Jill Blevins
    If you are willing to trust people, enjoy seeing the good in everyone, and have been taken advantage of more than you care to admit, read this book immediately. It will open your eyes and save you a lifetime of harsh, expensive, gut wrenching pain and misery. I promise.The first chapter is like a beautiful yet touching New Yorker story about a con artist and the methods he uses to inflict the author into becoming untrusting of her own usually str...
  • Steve Silberberg
    Well written, well researched, compelling, engaging and funny. Duped is about (and written by) a woman who was engaged to a pathological liar who regularly told grandiose but still believable lies, not only as a cover for his indiscretions but also because prevarication defined him and masked his private psychological shortcomings. The book also delves into the dupeage of others and seeks deeper answers by researching lying, trust and unspoken so...
  • Cari
    A lot of really interesting info in this book, especially for writers who might be thinking about a duplicitous character or plotline. The author also shares her personal story; it's both hard to believe and totally plausible. Kind of scary how many liars are out there. I'd read a similar book a few years back, but it was nice to have the refresher on the content. I'll be a little more suspicious these days!
  • Tracy Caruso
    Excellent book. If you’re interested in this subject matter, you’ll love it. You’ll learn some very interesting things. Ex: I didn’t know that gaslighting is illegal in England. I also learned about affinity fraud. This was a fascinating read. Author Abby is the type of person I want to be friends with.
  • Andrea
    This book had no real agenda, which actually made it more engaging. Ellin simply wanders through a series of deceptions -- in her own life, and recounted to her -- and skims through relevant research.
  • Jennifer Mcgarey
    3.5 Stars I loved the narrator’s voice. Non-fiction - interesting topic.
  • Leslie
    This book should be required high school reading. Well written - easy to read quickly. Great immersive read.
  • Amanda
    DNF at 53%
  • Michael
    Ellin did a nice job on this. very readable, some interesting insights. If this is an area that interests you it's a must read book
  • SundayAtDusk
    Author Abby Ellin starts off her book by telling the story of how she almost married a con man in the Navy. Apparently all her investigative journalism skills were in hibernation during the time she dated and was engaged to the man; since he told her story after story that made him sound like a superhero and a secret agent. Yes, she had doubts, doubts that were shouted out by "lonliness, desire, compromise, love, his Big Life and his upstandingne...
  • The Bookish Hooker
    Abby Ellin has been duped. The man she loved and hoped to marry has been found to be a fraud...a lying, cheating fraud. And she's about to tell you all about it and the psychology behind these career liars and what makes them do what they do. The premise of the book is fascinating. I've seen stories like hers on shows like Dr. Phil and Dateline, but never knew the victim's side of the story so in depth. We look on these cases and think they could...
  • Jo-Ann Duff (Duffy The Writer)
    Reading the book blurb for Duped took my mind to Ja Rule’s recent tweet that went viral. The comedy, tragedy and sheer astonishment that so many intelligent, rich, A-List celebrities could be drawn into such a global scale scam such as the Fyre Festival is baffling. But, instead of feeling sorry for these guys, Ja Rule’s tweet now becomes a meme and the whole thing is a bit of an internet joke.Duped is a refreshingly honest and open account f...
  • Kelly
    I could think of no better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year than to read a book about lying liars who lie (and cheat, and steal, etc). In all seriousness, though, Duped is a good read. Abby Ellin explores motivations behind lying and why, despite it being widely accepted that most people have lied at some point in their lives, we all still trust others NOT to lie. This is all told in the context of Ms. Ellin’s personal experiences b...
  • Denise Mullins
    So disappointing! This is a pseudo- scientific study to validate how the author fell prey to a second-rate con man and repeated this gullible trend with a second man shortly thereafter. She draws on an endless grocery list of liars, swindlers, and sociopaths through history- even resorting to the character switch in "A Tale of Two Cities". While she attempts to interject some humor, it simply doesn't mask her bitterness and obsessed train of thou...
  • Rhonda Lomazow
    Abby Ellin a sophisticated New Yorker an author an adult fell in love with a man she met on line .Known as The Commander a Beverly Hills dr who gave up His practice doing covert work for the government yes even medically examined osama Ben Ladin.What a man what a great guy but after their engagement all his stories began to unravel she had been duped .After leaving the relationship she begins to write about scammers hearing from people who had th...
  • Jenny Martin
    Really enjoyed this book. The most enjoyable parts for me were the author's personal stories/ongoing narrative and the stories of others who got duped or duped people. I was less interested in the scientific information about why people got duped than the motivations of those who did the duping, but I'm sure many others would enjoy the "dupee" information equally or more than the "duper" info. All in all, a great book!
  • Christine
    3.5. I liked this book more than I thought I would. I had been expecting something more along the lines of scams a la Madoff (and he is discussed), but Ellin more details pathological liars, personality traits and explores interesting questions like non-consensual sex as sexual assault (since the consent was not informed consent), how victims are viewed and truth in our society.
  • Nirmala
    This book gave me perspective, I know not everyone is honest with you all the time, even I am not for sure. The author did a good job of narrating each chapter and linking it with her personal life so that we could trust her words. So far, an enjoyable read.
  • Elizabeth
    I really like the first part of the book, where she told her story. The rest I wanted to get through so I dedicated an afternoon and made it through with a bath and a power nap. These kinds of stories need to be told and I applaud her for telling hers.
  • Kylene
    Interesting and engaging, I found myself laughing outloud while being horrified at the acts of deception humans perpetrate against each other. While at times tedious, I thoroughly enjoyed the joyful misandry and fascinating psychology Ellin weaves through her story telling.
  • Linda Scott
    Pure garbage. I wanted to finish just be done with it, but had to give up less than half-way through. I don't like to be angry about how badly something is written. If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything.