Duped by Abby Ellin


Abby Ellin was shocked to learn that her fiancé was leading a secret life. But as she soon discovered, the world is full of people who aren't what they seem. From Abby Ellin's first date with the Commander, she was caught up in a whirlwind. Within six months he'd proposed, and they'd moved in together. But soon, his exotic stories of international espionage began to unravel. Finally, it all became clear: he was lying about who he was. After ...

Details Duped

Release DateJan 15th, 2019
GenreNonfiction, Autobiography, Memoir, Crime, True Crime, Psychology, Biography

Reviews Duped

  • Debra
    "He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it much easier to do it a second time and third time till at length it becomes habitual." - Thomas JeffersonAbby Ellin was duped by a man called "The Commander". He told her that he was a doctor with a secret job, he worked for the government and could not give her details about what his job ensued. He went on secret missions and sent her back amazing photos of his time fighting espionage overseas...
  • Valerity (Val)
    Duped: Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost MarriedAfter the author, a writer who considers herself pretty savvy when it comes to people, finds that she’s been totally conned in her personal relationship, she decides to write a book about that experience and more. She tells what happened with “The Commander” as she called him, a doctor who was a Marine and took off all over doing deeds of good at a moment’s notice. All...
  • Marianne K
    Wow, a book about dupers, and liars, what's not to like!? A very interesting subject that the Liberal author could not resist using to make multiple digs at the current administration in D.C. I was willing to forgive the first time right at the beginning of the book, and then the second time a few pages later, but it wore thin after a while. If I'd wanted to read a political book skewering Donald Trump, then I would have sought one out. I really ...
  • Shelly
    Surprisingly captivating! This book had me turning the pages well after midnight and well after my eyes wanted to close. The author tells the stories of duplicitous individuals in a fascinating and engaging manner. I was hooked form page one. I appreciated the scientific anecdotes alongside the enthralling narratives. Five stars.
  • Lauren
    If you're intuitive when it comes to people, you really don't need to read this. In fact, reading it may be a bit painful for you, as it was for me.First, the good: this book gathers a lot of interesting stories about people duped financially, romantically, and otherwise. Tbh, it was kind of like reading a gossip rag and I love me a gossip rag. The one story about a girl's bestie faking cancer for 5 years had me on the edge of my chair. The writi...
  • Linda Scott
    Pure garbage. I wanted to finish just be done with it, but had to give up less than half-way through. I don't like to be angry about how badly something is written. If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything.
  • Kayo
    Truly fascinating. While author got duped, she writes about lying and deception and how we all can fall various ways. Excellent read! Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
  • SundayAtDusk
    Author Abby Ellin starts off her book by telling the story of how she almost married a con man in the Navy. Apparently all her investigative journalism skills were in hibernation during the time she dated and was engaged to the man; since he told her story after story that made him sound like a superhero and a secret agent. Yes, she had doubts, doubts that were shouted out by "lonliness, desire, compromise, love, his Big Life and his upstandingne...
  • Jackie
    Abby Ellin explores the reality of the pathological liar in our society in all it's permutations. She was involved in 2010 with the Commander, a man who boasted of CIA links, covert missions, and links to famous people. As a woman who was married to a pathological liar, I could readily relate to her bewilderment at being duped - these liars are eminently persuasive. The book is fascinating- exploring the concept on a personal, and then historical...
  • Jennie
    3.5 stars. Really interesting look at lying liars who lie. It's crazy to think about the people around us who are living in a puddle of lies. I knew a woman in college who was a compulsive liar, but luckily I wasn't in close enough range to suffer from it. Ellin tells about her ex-fiance who told so many lies (about his job, his family, his relationships, his OTHER FIANCEE, etc) that it's not surprising that it unraveled. We like to tell ourselve...
  • Smathy
    Loads of case studies and extensive research, but at the end of each chapter I couldn’t really say what point she was making because there were so many it all became too much. Disappointing.
  • Robyn Murphy
    This isn’t a memoir but rather a study of human nature, and I found it completely engrossing. Ellin, an engaging writer, is able to merge raw reflections and science into something I truly wanted to read.
  • Denise Mullins
    So disappointing! This is a pseudo- scientific study to validate how the author fell prey to a second-rate con man and repeated this gullible trend with a second man shortly thereafter. She draws on an endless grocery list of liars, swindlers, and sociopaths through history- even resorting to the character switch in "A Tale of Two Cities". While she attempts to interject some humor, it simply doesn't mask her bitterness and obsessed train of thou...
  • Jill Blevins
    If you are willing to trust people, enjoy seeing the good in everyone, and have been taken advantage of more than you care to admit, read this book immediately. It will open your eyes and save you a lifetime of harsh, expensive, gut wrenching pain and misery. I promise.The first chapter is like a beautiful yet touching New Yorker story about a con artist and the methods he uses to inflict the author into becoming untrusting of her own usually str...
  • MuddledMummyMoss
    Audible purchase, so listened rather than read! The reading of this was very acted and in some places felt over the top, however it was read predominantly well and you felt it was her story (despite it not being Ellen herself) 3* May indicate to some that this book is just ‘ok’ and not worth buying, however this is a positive 3*; a book which informs, intrigues and tells some good stories within of people who have been ‘duped’ or do the ...
  • David
    breezy writing style (ex: after she takes a vacation in Brazil and has a fling with a hot guy she meets there, she offers as an aside "Oh. Did I mention he was fifteen years younger? Sometimes, I really am my own hero" (p. 220)) as she takes a spin through her own experience of being conned by a man to whom she became engaged, which leads her to do a deep dive into why people lie, why we are too trusting sometimes, research on lie detection, etc....
  • Elizabeth
    Despite the fact that I have experience via multiple family members who had been duped both personally and professionally, I had no idea that deceit/lying were such pervasive and frequent occurrences in everyday life. The author uses her own unhappy experiences as a jumping-off point for her exposition and analysis, as well as her confessions as one who was duped of the challenges faced post-duping. She addresses the questions of why and how peop...
  • Steve Silberberg
    Well written, well researched, compelling, engaging and funny. Duped is about (and written by) a woman who was engaged to a pathological liar who regularly told grandiose but still believable lies, not only as a cover for his indiscretions but also because prevarication defined him and masked his private psychological shortcomings. The book also delves into the dupeage of others and seeks deeper answers by researching lying, trust and unspoken so...
  • Marcus Case
    I wonder how many of us recognise the psychopathy we so often encounter in our everyday lives, particularly in our closer and closest relationships? It's not an easy thing to do.In her brave, engaging and generally upbeat memoir Duped Abby Ellin writes with great candour about her harrowing experience of betrayal and deceit in a longstanding intimate relationship. Her book gripped me from start to finish and I found her wider exploration and exte...
  • Cari
    A lot of really interesting info in this book, especially for writers who might be thinking about a duplicitous character or plotline. The author also shares her personal story; it's both hard to believe and totally plausible. Kind of scary how many liars are out there. I'd read a similar book a few years back, but it was nice to have the refresher on the content. I'll be a little more suspicious these days!
  • Jennifer Summers
    The cover and title of this book doesn’t do it any justice - it sounds like a cheesy self help book for people who have been lied to, but it’s actually more of an analysis and discussion of lying as a whole. It has some really interesting points in it and was an enjoyable read. Nothing too ground breaking but worthwhile nonetheless.
  • Tracy Caruso
    Excellent book. If you’re interested in this subject matter, you’ll love it. You’ll learn some very interesting things. Ex: I didn’t know that gaslighting is illegal in England. I also learned about affinity fraud. This was a fascinating read. Author Abby is the type of person I want to be friends with.
  • Katie
    I picked this up after a recommendation and didn't really expect to be that interested, but ended up flying through in just a few days. The author was conned by a pathological liar who became her fiance and she explores the hows and whys of such a deception.
  • Carla
    Enjoyed this book. What I liked about it, is that it doesn't seem to matter your socioeconomic status, education level, your "gut" reaction...we can all be duped. The pathological liar is extraordinary captivating as he/she is a scoundrel. I enjoyed how after her own situation outlined, she went further to talk to others and look at lying historically.
  • Andrea
    This book had no real agenda, which actually made it more engaging. Ellin simply wanders through a series of deceptions -- in her own life, and recounted to her -- and skims through relevant research.
  • Jennifer Mcgarey
    3.5 Stars I loved the narrator’s voice. Non-fiction - interesting topic.
  • Sue
    The personal accounts were good readind material, all the other info put me to sleep
  • Leslie
    This book should be required high school reading. Well written - easy to read quickly. Great immersive read.
  • Sheenah
    Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.Abby Ellin was duped in her personal life by her fiance, and it caused her to look into the sociology and science of lying. I found it very interesting, but I have to admit, I wanted to hear more about her personal story. I found the subject very interesting and impressive that she was able to turn personal grief into professional success.