Consent by Donna Freitas


In this "compelling and disturbing" true story (Rebecca Traister), a young woman's toxic mentor develops a dark, stalking obsession that disrupts her career -- and her peace of mind. Donna Freitas has lived two lives. In one life, she is a well-published author and respected scholar who has traveled around the country speaking about Title IX, consent, religion, and sex on college campuses. In the other, she is a victim, a woman who suffered and s...

Details Consent

Release DateAug 13th, 2019
PublisherLittle, Brown and Company
GenreNonfiction, Autobiography, Memoir, Feminism

Reviews Consent

  • Erin
    Thanks to Netgalley and Little, Brown &Company for a digital galley in exchange for an honest review. This is the type of non fiction that can be really difficult to rate. The author, Donna Freitas is detailing the lengthy pursuit of a stalker during her grad school time at Georgetown University. This happened in the 90's and as Donna takes us through the increasingly difficult situation that she lived in, it becomes increasingly clear how far he...
  • Anita Pomerantz
    Consent is a brilliantly rendered memoir authored by a woman, Donna Freitas, who dreamed of being a professor. Unfortunately, she encountered a huge hurdle to realizing her dreams when a professor, a priest no less, became obsessed with her. Let’s just say that the most compelling part of this book is the complete candor with which it is written, but that is closely followed by the beautiful use of language. Parts of the story are poetically re...
  • Jenna Bookish
    My thanks to Little, Brown and Company for sending me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own and are not influenced by the publisher. Consent was a difficult read in some respects; it was difficult to see the author recount her trauma, but more than that, it was difficult to think about the excuses she internally made for her stalker before things escalated out of control. Most women have been the...
  • Emerald Stacy
    While not a fun read, this book is incredibly powerful. The author finds her voice to speak her truth, including the self doubt that comes from long term gaslighting. Absolutely incredible.
  • Robert Sheard
    If you need another memoir of sexual harassment to make you resent even more what university culture and the Catholic Church have done to women over the years, this is the one to get your blood boiling. You'll spend much of the second half of the book shaking your head in disbelief at what Freitas's graduate advisor (who was also a priest) did to her, how the university and the church enabled him, and how they cheated her out of the right to do a...
  • Rae
    Read this review and others on my blog: https://thriftybibliophile.comConsent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention by Donna Freitas is Donna’s account of the stalking and unwanted attention she faced as a graduate in college.Donna is a well-published author, a scholar, and knowledgeable in her field, of sex, religion, and consent on college campuses. She’s a sought after speaker and thrives in academia.Donna is a doctor, a daughter, and a friend. ...
  • Steff Pasciuti
    Consent by Donna Freitas is a rough book to read. Detailing the account of a young woman pursuing a PhD in her early twenties as she is subjected to the unwanted attentions of a Professor in her program. It is a very personal story to the author and yet it is a story that, while some pieces are changed and some have come out worse than others, many women in the world have experienced at one point or another. Whether it is the case of a stalker, a...
  • Christina Billhartz
    This book is a testament to the voices of sexual harassment victims that are silenced every day!Freitas was a bright-eyed PhD candidate at Georgetown who was inspired and passionate about her future as a professor when her life started to take a dark turn. Eager to get the most out of her studies, she frequently attended her professors' office hours to further engage with the material. Professor L., a Catholic priest whose stature at the universi...
  • Janet
    I received a DIGITAL Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. From the publisher, as I do not regurgitate the contents or story of books in reviews, I let them do it.A powerful memoir about a young woman's toxic relationship with her mentor, an acclaimed professor, whose dark, stalking obsession altered her future forever.Donna Freitas has lived two lives. In one life, she is a well-published author and r...
  • Donna Hines
    While I appreciate the fact this is an intelligent young woman who experienced what she deemed as 'unwanted' actions from a man I cannot understand the notion of still classifying oneself as a victim.For those of us who lived through abuse as in my case with a malignant narcissist and with a MPA/CJ degree who was left for dead with three kids I can say the last word I'd use to describe myself is as a victim.If you survive abuse you are a survivor...
  • Leanna Marie
    Donna Freitas is in graduate school, working towards her goals, while being stalked by her professor - who is also a priest. This is a telling memoir that helps us to understand how innocently a bad situation can start and how fast it can spiral out of control. It's also gives us an in-depth look at how Donna, as a victim, felt and thought, and ultimately dug herself a deeper grave. She expertly explains how she ended up blaming herself for her p...
  • Jennifer
    This memoir is complicated for me to review. It tells a story of how the author's professor, who was also a priest, mentor and department chair, chose and stalked his prey, a young woman eager to learn. There were several insights about harassment and abuse that I gleaned from the book, and I've included those notes below. But the book was difficult to read in part because of the content but mostly because the author drags out parts of the story ...
  • Hectaizani
    This was a really difficult book to read and will be difficult to review. The author describes her experiences in graduate school where she was harassed and stalked by one of her professors. This professor, despite being an esteemed scholar, a department chair and a Catholic priest, took advantage of the author's naivety and relative innocence. She suffered in silence because he made her believe that it was all her fault.This is an incredibly pow...
  • freckledbibliophile
    Consent by Donna Frieitas is a must-read. In this case, the perpetrator was a professor, a teacher of the most eminent rank. With his social distinction, he taught Frieitas the meaning of how one moment of recollection leads to a recrudescence of the event and the pain that's associated with it.At the opening of the book, when the professor continued to harry Frietas about opening the package and reading his essay, I knew this was getting to be a...
  • Trace
    I couldn’t put this down. Just read it.
  • Sonia Reppe
    The stalker-Priest/Professor didn't get violent or sexual in his harassment; yet it's crazy how he just didn't get it. Most people get the hint when someone stops returning your calls and keeps refusing your invitations; when someone avoids you, it becomes apparent that you should move on. But this guy, and intellectual person so does not get it. Even when Donna started saying "no," over and over, he refused to hear the no, and accused her of "be...
  • ashley lloyd spanton
    Review: I knew going into this it would be an emotional read, but it somehow escaped my knowledge at first that this was an actual memoir. Someone actually lived these words. That knowledge makes these words so much heavier.This was a memoir, but this was written like fiction and then like poetry and then like an academic essay and it was easy to forget that it was a true story. Freitas paints every detail very vividly and flourishes the prose in...
  • Noorilhuda
    Full of red flags (on both sides.)Thanks to the publisher for the ARC. All the best in life to the author.Memorable (frightening / disturbing / well-written) passages:- No amount of sexual liberation, freedom, confidence, intellectual talent, joy or voracity would save me from going through what I did with my mentor. When it happened to me, no amount of sexual empowerment could have prevented me from becoming the silenced, anxiety-ridden, nearly ...
  • David
    recaps from the distance of 20 years or so a shockingly persistent stalker [professor, big shot in her doctoral program, priest] from her grad school days, with lasting negative effects on her academic career. Secondary theme of how poorly the school handled the situation once she finally got the clarity needed to report the faculty member.She's not in touch with him [thankfully], so the "other side" so to speak wasn't presented, but i would have...
  • Carla (happiestwhenreading)
    “The aftermath of sexual harassment is quiet. You learn quickly not to speak about it, not to say anything, because it makes other people uncomfortable. No one knows what to say to you, how to fix things, what might help. It makes people uneasy to know that this thing happened to you, this strange, ugly thing they don’t know how to remedy. So, to not make anyone else feel awkward, you don’t tell people, you don’t tell anyone at all. Soon,...
  • Meagan Houle
    "Women’s tongues are dangerous when they let us keep them. Institutions, workplaces, companies have long known this, which is why they take them from us, why they require that we forfeit them, why they’ll pay us so much for them, these blood diamonds mined from our bodies."I don't quite know what to say about "Consent," other than to say it is unlike any memoir I've ever read about womanhood, about academia, about power and trauma and the myr...
  • Madeline Nelson
    Quality of Writing: 6/10Pace: 5/10Plot Development: N/ACharacters: N/AEnjoyability: 5/10Insightfulness: 8/10Ease of Reading: 8/10Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐I thought about giving this book four stars. It is quite good. I just couldn't let go of the fact that it dragged after a while, and while I understand this is a memoir, there is only so much introspection I can take. After a while I would start to wish she'd move on to another topic besides her...
  • Tangled in Text
    3.5I'm glad Dr. Freitas got her story out. It's sad that over two decades after a traumatic event just how vividly she can still remember specific details and feelings from those moments. I loved the last part that she still struggles with the competing feeling of being a survivor AND a victim. You can become proud to call yourself a survivor but have guilt still feeling like the victim to where it creates a burden on yourself keeping this secret...
  • Samantha
    Rating: 3.5Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.TRIGGERS: sexual abuse, stalking, PTSD“Consent” is a book about telling a woman’s truth. Donna Freitas suffered a form of sexual abuse in grad school and it destroyed her life as she knew it. She tells the reader exactly, step by step, how this person took a calculated measure to infect every inch of her w...
  • Christina
    Unfortunately, I *really* finish this book. The premise, the issue of what consent means in today's culture and how it has evolved in the last few decades, was promising. However, I found the author's framework for exploring the issue of consent (the sexual harassment and stalking she endured in grad school) exhausting to pull through, it simply dragged on....and on ..... and on..... For what felt like over 3/4 of the book. Around th...
  • Alyssa
    I received this book as a giveaway from Hatchette book group, thank you to them and Donna Freitas! I would give this a 3.5 star review. The story’s backbone is completely horrific for Donna to have to experience, or anyone, for that matter. I commend her for telling her story, and for sticking up for herself and speaking out against her stalker and graduate school. It takes a strong person to bring a dark story to light.While I enjoyed the book...
  • Kate
    A desperately lonely old guy is convinced that he can snag a young, attractive woman. We women have all encountered these delusional oldsters when we were in are early 20's right? I know I had to fight off an army of these grandpas back when I was young and attractive. The good thing is, when you get to be over 35, they're usually not interested anymore .😂Maybe I come from a stronger, tougher stock of women, but saying "NO. I am NOT interested...
  • Readnponder
    I am grateful to Donna Freitas for chronicling the troubling behavior of her grad school professor (who was also a Catholic priest and decades her senior) as he stalked her with obsessive, unwanted attention. The lines he crossed were shocking. At times the narrative got bogged down with Freitas' endless waffling. Should she report him? Is he a villain? Or just a super-caring professor? Is there a reasonable explanation for his behavior? Is she r...
  • Heidi | Paper Safari Book Blog
    I struggled through this book. While the story was engrossing I felt that Freitas went off on tangents that just went on and on. I don't really care how many people she kissed at prom nor does it really do much for a story about a professor's inappropriate behavior. It almost seems like she is trying to build a case for why his behavior is wrong which makes me sad. Stalking is brutal in the sense that it takes away your sense of security, you fin...