What We Say Matters by Judith Hanson Lasater

What We Say Matters

For yoga teacher Judith Hanson Lasater and her husband, mediator Ike K. Lasater, language is a spiritual practice based on giving and receiving with compassion. In What We Say Matters, they offer new and nurturing ways of communicating. Long-term students of yoga and Buddhism, the authors here blend the yoga principle of satya (truth) and the Buddhist precept of right speech with Marshall Rosenberg's groundbreaking techniques of Nonviolent Commun...

Details What We Say Matters

TitleWhat We Say Matters
Release DateOct 1st, 2009
PublisherRodmell Press
GenreNonfiction, Self Help, Language, Communication, Psychology, Spirituality

Reviews What We Say Matters

  • Holly
    Non violent communication sounded like something I could do with reading since in the past much of my communication has been laced with angst or upset, and on the whole I found this book a rewarding and engaging read. However I did have a few nitpicks, such as, like a previous reviewer mentioned, some of the phrasing that is used; "seduce me with your needs" just sounds like something I wouldn't be able to say to anyone whilst keeping a straight ...
  • Rebekah
    This book was difficult for me—I struggled with feeling that if everyone implemented the practices the authors describe, the world would be SO MUCH BETTER and feeling embarrassed by how awkward some of the phrasing they suggest is ("duck index"? "seduce me with your needs"?). I can see this approach working far better in my personal relationships than in my professional ones, where the level of explanation I feel I would need to give not to fee...
  • Meagan Sullivan
    Better introduction to Nonviolent Communication than Marshall Rosenberg's original book, in my view, as it addresses some common pitfalls that seem to emerge from MBR's explanation of the principles.
  • Adam
    Not as thorough as Marshall Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication" nevertheless this book gives another perspective and some good exercises for practicing NVC and NVC thinking.
  • Vern Stevens
    I found some interesting material and useful ideas in this book, but there were so many references to Marshall Rosenberg that I felt I should just have read his book instead.
  • Renáta-Adrienn
    "All criticism is the tragic expression of unmet needs."
  • LouLou
    Read review in its entirety at http://www.compassbookratings.com/rev...Husband and wife, Ike and Judith Lancaster, incite deeper meaning into the familiar saying: “Think before you speak”, with their composition, What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication.Arranged into nine chapters, Judith and Ike introduce the concept of Nonviolent Communication (sometimes referred to as NVC), and then expound upon the principles and how to us...
  • Mary-lou
    My yoga classes this term were based around Patanjali's sutra 1:33(Undisturbed calmness of mind is attained by cultivating friendliness toward the happy,compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked.--Prabhavananda and Isherwood )I wanted to look at this sutra broadly as being about relationships and that the relationships we have depend on a mix between compassion and assertiveness. I decided that this b...
  • Tara
    As a human resources professional, struggling with workplace communications and interpersonal differences, I chose to read this for some insights and tangible guidance. Found this to be a quick, digestible, and practical read. Sort of glossed over (glazed over at?) the bits referring to yoga and "spirituality", but was able to draw meaningful connections between the authors' messages and applicability to life, both personal and professional. Sugg...
  • Paiman Chen
    The next time you’re in a big, chaotic group environment, such as a conference, try practicing silent self-empathy. Simply write down how you feel and which of your needs are not being met. Even if you don’t speak up about these unfulfilled needs, this practice of silent self-empathy will create a shift in you – and in the group as a whole.
  • Aliesha
    As with many books on communication, the scripts sound awkward and stilted BUT for learning to think about anger and frustration as unmet needs, and for learning how to identify those needs, this book was great.
  • Rebecca Slaven
    Good book despite the off-putting title! Picked this up on my counsellor's recommendation when I was having a hard time with a job that clashed with my personality.
  • Holly Beavers
    It's a good short book, and a little text book-y
  • Peter Green
    This book made a huge difference in how I think about others and hence how I communicate with them. My kids now use the patterns in the book to resolve conflicts. Highly recommended.
  • Carrie Ridgeway
    I was hoping for more specific languaging in different situations. Great practice, though.
  • Carina
    Excellent book on practicing NVC, with some focus on connection with spiritual practice of Buddhism and Yoga.
  • Erin Matson
    While there are concepts in here I will circle back to with gratitude, I'm a stickler for poor editing. Three noticeable errors is too much. I also worry about the utility of this method toward abusive or potentially violent people. The only example given of the concepts in a moment of potential violence concerned a man defusing a situation -- this doesn't calm my worry.
  • Sara
    This is a life long journey for some people. As with everything in your life this starts with the intention you set within yourself. Genuine heartfelt nonviolent communication is difficult but with practice and patience with yourself it will evolve. Like anything else it's a journey. Love and peace to anyone who reads this and practices this in their daily life. If everyone did the world would be a different place.
  • Rick
    This is one good way to look at non-violent communication. I remember it being a smidge too spiritual for my needs, but the practical advice is very solid. Though it's hard to put into practice when the world just won't cooperate with you. Still, though, even a quick read of it will improve your communication and open up your eyes to some things we all do that put our conversational partner on the defensive. Though I've not tried all the practice...
  • Chrissy
    This book is much more readable than Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. It gives just enough info about the process of NVC without getting too technical or artificial sounding. And it's extremely practical, both authors give situations such as work or writing emails where practicing NVC probably is the most difficult.
  • Maren Showkeir
    The frame of recognizing emotion, needs and requests vs demands was extremely useful. The emphasis on self-awareness and empathy is invaluable if you are trying to communicate for understanding and connection.
  • Audra
    Great tidbits, but completely unrealistic conversations I believe. I love the most important message, which is to think in terms of feelings and needs. Some of the examples seemed that they would not be taken well by the other person, but I guess that's just me.
  • Abby
    This may not be as informative, meditative, and soothing as Living Your Yoga, but it's definitely worth reading. Insightful. Made me realize I know very little about psychology, but there are still many methods to remain aware of our words and thoughts.
  • Elizabeth
    This book discusses and outlines a process for nonviolent communicaton. At it's worst it feels like a stiff formula for communication, but at its best it combines principles from Eastern thought (truthfulness and nonharming) in useful ways toward a more empathetic approach to oneself and others.
  • Ashley Roque
    Transformed the way I speak to myself and other people. Taught me to give myself more tenderness, to treasure the spoken voices in my head and in my heart. Taught me to prioritize what I "need." So grateful for this book.
  • Bill
    This is an excellent book for trying to understand how to be a better communicator. Highly recommended.
  • Mariana
    From this good book I learned valuable info about relationships which I hope to put in practice in my life.
  • Laura
    Practical tools for talking - I like the exploration of needs in addition to feelings.
  • Todd Mayville
  • julia
    excellent tools for communicating. not easy and requires conscious effort. totally worth it.