The Power of a Positive No by William Ury

The Power of a Positive No

No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No–to people at work, at home, and in our communities–because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us. But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That’s why sayin...

Details The Power of a Positive No

TitleThe Power of a Positive No
Release DateFeb 27th, 2007
GenreBusiness, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Leadership, Language, Communication, Personal Development, Management, Buisness, Productivity

Reviews The Power of a Positive No

  • Payam
    Yes, I know you are here to read a review.No. I won't write the review you want to read.Yes, I will still capture my thoughts on the book, but it will not be a review you want to read.Saying "No" can be nerve-racking. The disapproval and judgement we may receive in saying "No" can deter many people from properly expressing themselves. Why do we feel this? More importantly, is this a problem? It is a problem, in that by not saying "No", you do not...
  • Sarah
    Like most self-help books, this book didn't need to be this long.The recommended way to say "no" is as follows: "Yes! No. Yes?"That is, first state the positive value you're seeking to protect. Next, state plainly and without insult your refusal to do what the other person asks. Then offer an alternative that might be mutually agreeable.This actually works, and makes sense for a wide range of cases. It allows for the possibility of future coopera...
  • Dr. Ruth Neustifter
    I read this book after exiting a difficult situation as best I could, yet feeling that I somehow didn't do it as well as I should have. Although I tend to shy away from both business books and self-help books, unless I know the author well, this one just called out to me from the shelf. Thank goodness I snapped it up. Basically, the book coaches the reader on socially advisable routes to keep yourself and your family well balanced. That's a huge ...
  • Kipi
    Can "no" actually mean "yes"? Yes, it can, according to William Ury in The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes. I read his book Getting to Yes about a year ago and feel, as a mediator, this book is much more helpful and practical because it focuses on the importance of relationship over that of reaching a "deal." This paragraph in the final chapter sums up the author's message:The great problem today is that we have divorce...
  • Paula
    Provides a framework for how to say No in a Positive manner. Good points, examples to support concepts, just a bit long.
  • Christopher Willey
    No its a powerful word, the building blocks of life have inherent no in them. Permeable membrane are a no with conditions.So I found myself in a lurch after the presidential election of 2016 in the United States. There was a change of power in my department as well as shifting social tensions in my area, and all of that resulted in the realization that I needed to be a better leader. I needed to use the authority that I had within my spheres of i...
  • Martti
    This is a self-help book in the bad sense of the word. It's too long, repetitive and annoying. With anonomyous examples of John doing this and that. Somewhere in there is a mix of bragging about negotiating international incidents or workforce debates. The book could have been a paragraph:Say NO, by first understanding what you want to say YES to. When you do, it becomes clear why you MUST say NO. Don't be emotional while negotiating. Be factual ...
  • Ann
    I really like William Ury as an author. He founded the Harvard Negotiation Project and writes good negotiation books. His first book Getting to Yes, is a good book on negotiation theory. His second Getting past no, talks about difficult negotiations. His third, the power of the positive no could really be the first in the series with self analysis of what you really want before you negotiate. I should have read this book years ago! I like his ide...
  • Sharon
    More than 20 years ago, I was introduced to William Ury's concepts of "Getting Past No" and "Getting to Yes" during conflict negotiation and mediation - and several of his key phrases have stuck with me ever since. I'd still like to re-read each of those books as well, but noticed my library had this on audio so I grabbed it. It's an excellent read, and I highly recommend it.
  • Holly
    Heaven knows I needed the information from this book, however, it could and should have been covered in 4-5 chapters instead of 12. The author's main contribution is helping the individual recognize and feel good about a proper no with his yes, no, yes formula. Yes to my underlying need/value, no to the current proposition, and Yest to opening further dialogue.
  • Eileen Sauer
    This is "must read" for everyone. More important than getting to yes, is being able to say no to all of the things that prevent you from accomplishing the things you say yes to. Doing this in a graceful way is even harder. Saying yes when you really mean no means being a pushover. Saying a blunt no can hurt feelings and close doors. So how do you do this in a graceful way? The key is by balancing what would appear to be contradictory characterist...
  • Ali
    was an okay book, a bit too much description and examples, but thats how they explain it right
  • Nopadol Rompho
    I love this book. It's so practical and it will definitely benefit me and other readers. Time management techniques can't help you if you keep saying 'yes' to all requests. But how do we say 'no' without losing the good relationship. Read this book and you will find the answer.
  • Tami
    No. Such a simple word yet it's so hard to use. Most of us take on far too much because we are afraid to say no and for good reason. We've all had experiences were we did actually muster the courage to say no and felt extremely guilty afterwards. Moreover, the person who we said no to often gets mad at us and that simple word starts a huge drama. In the end, it would have been much easier just to shut our mouths. Evidentially, our problem wasn't ...
  • Mark Ruzomberka
    Yes. No. Yes. That pretty much sums up this book. My entire grad school negotiation course was based on Ury's first book "Getting to Yes", so, I figured I'd give this one a try too. I was extremely pleased with the book. I did not realize how many times in a day this would come in handy. It is nice to be able to confidently say no to people without having it be confrontational. Or, even worse caving in just to try and keep the other party happy. ...
  • Tom
    Ury, William (2007), The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes, Bantam Books, New York, NY. This book is the piece de resistance for Willam Ury. It addresses a challenge that many leaders face in negotiation: How to firmly yet gracefully say no in any negotiation, yet still have the door open to future win/win collaboration. A must read for anyone who negotiates anything. That is, for everyone. Ury, William (2007), The Powe...
  • Ariah
    This was a great book, very practical and useful. I haven't read his more popular Getting to Yes book, but I think this was a better fit for the type of tools I was looking for. The approach, examples, and methodology where super solid, simple to understand and extremely practical. Honestly found myself using it in several instances already that hadn't been my original intention. Good stuff.
  • Lloyd Dalton
    This was shorter, more direct, and more valuable than the earlier two books in the trilogy (Getting to Yes and Getting past No).
  • Chris Schutte
    A lot of helpful advice on saying "no", especially relevant for leaders.
  • Jeremy
    In one sentence: A positive No is about achieving the kind of success that can come only from being true to yourself and respectful to others.In one paragraph: The great problem today is that we have divorced our Yeses from our Nos. Yes without No is appeasement, whereas No without Yes is war. Yes without No destroys one's own satisfaction, whereas No without Yes destroys one's relationship with others. We need both Yes and No together. Yes is th...
  • Anand Kumar
    Just finished reading The Power of Positive No by William Ury.The First thing I relished about this book is about the title - Its so flattening to read when the belief is always that No is not good.Its a must be read book for people who are like me, who find arduously in saying or using No and give a special invite to unwanted challenges in life. Its a fanciful read illustrating how lamentable most of us are at expressing no by thinking conseque...
  • Daniel
    This was one of hundreds of books recommended in Tim Ferriss' Tribe of Mentors, and it's totally worthwhile. One of the questions in the book is, "In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?" and so many of the contributors admitted to sucking at saying no (and so do I). Here's Ury's formula, excerpted from Lifehacker: The st...
  • Vân Khánh
    In our life, there are many circumstances in which we have to say NO. Of course saying NO sounds quite easy - NO means NO. But just imagine when you have to say NO to your boss, to your colleague, to your customer, it can be another challenge of refusing without damaging the relationship. This book has showed me another aspect of NO, which means YES. Some of the tips that I am really impressed and can be applied in every refusal are:-Think carefu...
  • JP
    As Ury claims, this really is the complement to Getting to Yes. It's arguably more important because it focuses on something that most people find hard to do, and yet saying no is so critical to the success of any person or team. This book first explains how to think about the "no" situation and then how to go about it. It goes deeper than just laying out a bunch of tactics. At the core, you have to know what you're saying yes to that makes it ne...
  • Froylan Platt
    A book that you should have handly, really helpful, NO with a yes it's a powerful idea that we should practice every day, you will save yourself unnecessarily polarizing conflict that only diverts attention from the real interest with who you negotiate in a daily basis.NO is a selection principle that allows you to be who you are and not someone or something else. NO gives you the individuality and definition that make this world a richer place. ...
  • Frank Rodrigue
    This book is a great read for people who are requested to participate in events and help people all the time. If you've ever been in a professional situation where you would rather not get involved at all or in a personal situation where you want to say but are afraid of downgrading the quality of the relationship. This is for you. The first 2/3 of the book will definitely be informative while providing some concrete suggestions whereas the back ...
  • Becky
    I have begun and discarded a number of books on saying no over the years, finding many of them to be full of irrelevant assumptions and pretty trite in their advice. This book finally provided the payoff. While occasionally slipping into jargon-y language, this book provides some profound advice in dealing with our relationships and the conflicts that inevitably arise. I especially loved the juxtaposition of family life examples with examples dra...
  • Vanita Singh
    Dear William UryThis book of yours is such a fine work towards improving the way mankind behaves. It's a gift for women, men, old age, children, rich, poor - anyone and everyone. It's such a treasure, boon or healthy behaviour practice. If we all practice this, we can always end up win-win. No heartbreaks, no anger, no crimes. I request the curriculum makers to make this book as a course book in schools. This book is A MUST READ for one and all.I...
  • Sunshine
    I got lost midway in the audio, so I'm not giving it my full appreciation. I'll definitely reread - maybe a hard copy next time. This has been coincidentally read on the footsteps of a quite memorable negotiation round, where a part was giving the positive no and the other was attacking time and time again. I kept coming back to this case during listening to the book this time and analyzing who did what, and why the attacking part did not stop at...
  • Andrew Vanderlinden
    The Power of a Positive No Saying no is not easy. If your like me, you are afraid you are going to hurt the relationship. If you find yourself overcommitted and unsure what to do about it, this book might be fore you. The structure of a positive no is a "Yes! No. Yes? statement." In the authors words: The first Yes! expresses your interest; the No asserts your power; and the second Yes? furthers your relationship.